There are about 30 places around the world named London after, well, London, England’s capital. About 18 of them, including three key cities, are in the United States.
In Nigeria, there is a “small London,” as the village of Abiriba in Abia State is informally called. And then there is a “London” in Delta State, located about 117km from Asaba.
Nigerians swear by London. We dream of it. We own chunks of it, sometimes out of the blue, and sometimes leaving our piece behind when we die. It is awash with Nigerian wealth.
London is where we once tried to repatriate former minister Umaru Dikko by seizing him off the open street and putting him in a crate heading to Lagos.
London is where fleeing Bayelsa State governor Diepreye Alamieyeseighahumiliated himself into permanent lore by disguising himself as a woman, wearing a dress and a wig.
London is where the Nigerian government in 2013 ordered 53 gold-plated Iphones for the 53rd independence anniversary celebrations; it also headquarters The Economist, which in 2016, dismissed President Goodluck Jonathan as “an ineffectual buffoon who let politicians and their cronies fill their pockets with impunity.”
London is where the United States unmaskedformer Petroleum Minister Diezani Alison-Madueke, who had sworn that she owned no billions anywhere: the beginning of her international disrobing that includedN47.2bn and $487.5m in cash and properties (one of them being a $37.5m Lagos mansion).
London is the place where presidential candidate Bola Ahmed took the coveted Chatham House microphone to market himself, only to embarrassingly farm out the questions addressed to him.
And London is the place where one President Muhammadu Buhari, having inexplicably made himself a local fixture, stumbled to laughable effect when King Charles asked of him a simple question.
London always seems to beckon to ruthless foreign officials. It is now where officials of the Tinubu government are trooping, allegedly for a press conference to celebrate his “achievements”, preserving its age-old image as Nigeria’s best-loved location for squandering public resources.
Project Internal Coordinator of the President Bola Tinubu Midterm Legacy Projects Review Committee, Bode Adeyemi, said the officials will showcase the achievements and legacy projects of the Tinubu administration in infrastructure, the economy, security, job availability, healthcare development, aviation and digital economy.
Apparently, the British people are eager to learn about farmers being shot on their farms, hospitals that do not exist, and road constructions that have barely begun.
According to Adeyemi, “The singular fact that Nigerian and private refineries started production under this administration is an unforgettable achievement. The local government autonomy push by the President is another giant stride, and the Lagos-Calabar Coastal Road, Sokoto-Badagry superhighway, IMF debt repayment, removal of subsidies that have doubled allocation to states, enforcement of the rule of law and security are giant strides the Tinubu administration will always be remembered for.”
To begin with, Nigeria is so secure that, last week, Minister of Defence Mohammed Badaru was lamenting a “resurgence” of Boko Haram, saying: “We are doing a lot to curtail them, and we will fight it, and normalcy will return by the special grace of God and your prayers.”
His words were in line with what Chief of Naval Staff Vice Admiral Emmanuel Ogalla declaredthe previous week, that Nigeria’s burgeoning insecurity needs a “spiritual” response.
He was nowhere near a gun or a bullet: he was in Abuja commissioning some churches!
The agonies of Nigerians were at weeping pitch last week, with Afenifere describing Tinubu’s promise of renewed hope as having turned into a “nightmare of regressing hopelessness and despair.”
“Rather than take full responsibility for the unmitigated sufferings inflicted on Nigerians in the past two years on account of its wrong policy choices and wasteful spending, the Tinubu administration has engaged in massive propaganda claiming false successes and shifting blame to global and historical factors, and showing scant empathy for ordinary Nigerians,” it stated.
The Nigeria Labour Congress decried the hardship, broken promises, and worsening poverty in Tinubu’s two years.
“Nigerian workers have seen their real wages obliterated. Pensioners, SMEs (facing over 150 per cent inflation in inputs), and 150 million Nigerians are now multi-dimensionally poor.”
The International Christian Concern observedthat Tinubu has done little to stem the violence, noting that if the Nigerian leader were serious about it, he must address religion.
“Though not the only factor at play, lack of economic opportunity is another; it is a major one, and one that he crucially cannot afford to ignore.”
It described the Middle Belt as the site of significant religiously motivated bloodshed in recent years, driven in large part by Islamist insurgents that brutally target Christian communities.
In an editorial, The PUNCH described the Nigerian political elite as remaining stubbornly selfish and short-sighted, excluding the majority from meaningful participation.
“They have failed to build a nation or establish the pillars of democracy: strong institutions, free and credible elections, the rule of law, an independent electoral body, a robust party system, separation of powers, and an independent judiciary,” describing Tinubu as, “once a vocal advocate of restructuring and federalism,” and as showing little inclination for necessary reforms.
Remember: just nine months ago, at Nigeria’s anniversary, The Punch had also sighed deeply, affirming, “At 64, Nigeria has lost its way.”
Federal officials of the so-called poverty capital of the world, their citizens starving, dying from insecurity and mismanagement, will be partying in London, essentially celebrating a nation on the edge. Some will likely buy Rolls-Royces and the most expensive champagnes and whiskies, polishing insecurity and multi-dimensional poverty in the colours of economic buoyancy.
Keep in mind: one of the projects they will be celebrating is the 700km Lagos-Calabar road, commissioned though less than 2 per cent completed. It was initially advertised as a 10-lane highway, only to be quietly shrunk to six. Works Minister David Umahi, who has completed no road, will be there. Federal Capital Territory Minister, Nyesom Wike, will speak of new bus terminals in Abuja, but not buses.
They are going to be talking about the rule of law when their party has barely obeyed any court orders since 2015, including three different ordersto account for returned loot.
But it is even worse: Here is Ajao Adewale, the Commissioner of Police in the FCT, who took office in March speaking to policemen about such issues as procedure and the rights of citizens.
He makes a wonderful presentation, but achieves no more than to confirm that Nigeria has a police force only in name, but not a police culture or trained officers.
But there is one hopeful spot in the Minister of the Interior, Olubunmi Tunji-Ojo, a man I have previously acknowledged, who has since made even more notable strides.
Speaking at a public event, he called for innovation-driven governance and ethical leadership.
“Leadership is not about reacting to problems,” he said, “it is about foreseeing and solving them before they occur.”
Hopefully, Tunji-Ojo says these things at cabinet meetings. And I hope he avoids the lure of false advocacy, such as: “Before President Bola Tinubu’s leadership, Nigeria’s challenges were rooted not in a lack of resources, but in the absence of focused and effective governance.”
Focused leadership and partying in London is a shameful contradiction.
Punch
