Francis Ojo
The issues between our old President and his young lovely wife Aisha would pose no problem in Daura Sharia court before an old Islamic Grand Khadi. Buhari would no doubt have been victorious, been allowed to holler: “ I divorce you, I divorce you and finally for the third time, I divorce you” and all would be over. Then the bitter struggle between prominent Fulani families including royal ones to donate brand new (tear rubber) teenage wives for the prominent citizen would have begun.
But alas, Aisha set Baba up royally, real good! She chose the setting, (International) and medium, (British Broadcasting Service) and planned the timing (When Baba would be in deep conversation in Germany with the most powerful female in the World). Such an intelligent but scheming, elegant yet gladiatorial, stylish but cunning lady! We have a classic “Twitter” generation versus “ old Koranic School age” battle at hand.
Aisha is everything Baba is not. And this speaks eloquently to their generational and educational backgrounds. She is fluent and confidently oratorical, smashingly beautiful, while Baba’s words are hardly audible and when occasionally they are, difficult to assemble into sensible sentences. Everything about him, appearance, language, and worldview is frozen in time. Buhari is old, slow, awkward and his views medieval. For a struggling administration looking for money in Europe and mercy in Washington, a war with a liberated spouse will not bring a good listening ear.
This is why President Buhari must handle his obviously more brilliant and evidently very cunning and substantially ambitious wife with wisdom and stop blabbing like Donald Trump. Publilius Syrus warns: “The Gods never let us love and be wise at the same time.” President Buhari must prove Syrus wrong. He must love his wife but be wise in his dealings with her. Our leader, Muhammadu Buhari had better settle quickly and humbly with this woman, talk no more in that “foreign” Fulani accent. He must now be silent. Said Cato: "I think the first virtue is to restrain the tongue; he approaches nearest to who knows how to be silent, even though he is right.”
Next, he should also make amends with his disappointed friends and seek a way out to re-cultivate the poor who voted with hope for him. He must do all these before he gets into more trouble. He is in enough trouble already. As a matter of fact and due to cultural ignorance, he is in more trouble than he can imagine, may think, probably knows and wish to admit or may want to believe. I beseech the President to pray tomorrow morning. The sort of prayer Homer would recommend:
"May the Gods grant you all things your heart desires, may they give you a husband/wife, a home and gracious concord, for there is nothing greater and better than this – when a husband and wife keep a household in oneness of mind, a great woe to their enemies and joy to their friends, and win high renown”
I adopted the word “cultural ignorance” because you don’t make a sexist statement wet with discrimination and put downers in front of the most powerful leader in the World who is also a woman in a Hemisphere where gays, lesbians, bi-sexuals and transgenders rule cultures and determine taste. A reverse culture which allows women to have sex, scream their brains out in enjoyment only to turn around to look for lawyers, deny the orgasm and claim benefits in millions for “sexual exploitation.” That surely is far from the traditional Fulani worldview!
Baba probably thought he was standing beside an ordinary Hajia from Katsina State, intimidated by masculine might , emasculated by the culture that makes a tall woman inferior and subservient and a short man superior and domineering. Alas the man was standing beside the most powerful female in the World and all of the 5 most powerful leaders in the World today were probably listening or likely to rewind the tapes and hear how he crudely misspoke.
President Buhari said rather flippantly that his wife belongs to his kitchen, his living room and other room. If truly she is his cook, then he should push this matter no further . The Chinese know better. Lin Yutang said: "Our lives are not in the hand of the Gods, but in the lap of our cook.”
Repeated the President stubbornly in another ill advised follow up interview after Garba Shehu, his Press Assistant had made to decarbonize the crude words and tame it into a joke:
“I am sure you have a house. You know where your kitchen is. You know where your living room is. And I believe your wife looks after all that even if she’s working,” when the interviewer, Phil Gayle, asked him to clarify his controversial comments.
Hey Baba Presido and General, Listen to Edmund Vance Cooke, now that you speak of Cooks and the kitchen:
“You may batter your way through the thick of the fray, You may sweat, you may grunt, you may be a jack-fool, if you must, but this rule should ever be kept at the front;- Don’t fight with your pillow, but lay down your head and kick every worriment out of the bed.”
Aisha is the wrong woman to pick a fight with right now. One, she is in the International limelight and is now the celebrity she always craved to be and may be ready to exploit her Global fame and go for broke. God forbid!. Next, she, like all women is stronger than she looks just as most men are more stupid than they appear.
Aisha expects to be respected. Nancy Reagan it was who submitted: "I was sleeping with the President, and if that doesn’t give you special access, I don’t know what does.”
But with Buhari, does it? Ralph Emerson tells us also: "A man’s wife has more power over him than the State.”
But that is not in line with the Fulani culture or Islamic teachings. And the President rebels against a “ liberated” wife that wants power. But in 27 years of living together, should Buhari not know how strong and stubornn his wife could be?
Late Nancy Reagan, wife of Late Ronald Reagan warned men: "A woman is like a teabag – only in hot water do you realize how strong she is."
I beg President Buhari: Please don’t joke with this female. Because she lies prostrate on your rugged bed, pretending to be fulfilled, moaning when you want and snoring when you expect her to does not make her stupid or satisfied.
WHAT IS SAID MAY NOT BE WHAT IS AT ISSUE
Between the President and the First Lady, I know that what is being pleaded in the open is just minor compared to what the bedroom is struggling to contain. I know this because when there is fire in the bedroom, those outside see only smoke from the chimney. I also think the First Lady is the injured party. I know this because when a woman is beating up on her husband in the bedroom, the man will not cry out, as he would like to hide his weakness. He will only grunt and cry softly and silently. When however the woman is at the receiving end, as I believe is happening in this case, the cry turns into a yell.
ANY RIVAL TEENAGE HAJIA IN VIEW?
I also suspect there is more to this fight than politics. Is it possible that these cabals who encamp in Aso Rock so solidly, surround the Presidency so totally and choke our Baba to the point of asphyxiation have not erected a barrier difficult to cross for the First lady to access her husband? Are you sure they have not got a new teenager for Baba? Forgive me when I say I don’t trust these brothers from the North. They spend quality time snaking their way to teenage girls, sneaking in on them and we are told, recently, kidnapping has been added to the strategy.!!! The President must be warned not to take any new wife at this time or anytime soon for that matter.
When we are faced with National embarrassment as this, I believe it is in order to speculate. So forgive me, your boy!
AISHA CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO RUN OUR GOVERNMENT. PERIOD
If in the course of running my business, my wife tries to interfere or interrupt the course of personnel deployments and re-organization, she would be wrong, her actions would be resisted both by the personnel and the system I run. I would be categorical in my objection to her imposition. The President cannot be expected to surrender our Presidency to Hajia!
The Presidency is not a tea Party. Unless and until you sit down at that very difficult desk, where tens of problems land every second, where hundreds of people, friends, associates, mistresses, partners, enemies, opposition, thieves and vagabonds, ministers, Governors and International figures and Ambassadors request your time and presence, you really cannot be sure how to act or react. When now you factor in the needs and greed of your political party members and those who expect unrealistic favours for the unreasonable valuation they have attributed to their contribution to your election, it gets really complicated.
Soldiers are students of Niccolo Machiavelli. In dealing with those who put him in power, Buhari has acted clearly as advised by Nicholo himself: "Then you have as enemies, those you harmed while seizing power as well as those who put you in power, because you can never satisfy all their ambitions in the way they expected.” Machiavelli would recommend that both groups be destroyed early in the career of the new Prince.
Both groups are to be treated as enemies. Buhari has acted accordingly. Aisha cannot understand this. But it is not her business to so do.
IS THIS NOT AMBITION I SEE FROM AFAR?: FIRST LADY AND FIRST LADYISM
Secondly, every Nigerian could identify her on the campaign rostrum, strutting for her husband and struggling with Patience Jonathan for the minds of Nigerians. Her contribution to that campaign can be contrasted to the subtraction from the Jonathan effort through her ill educated, bumbling and fumbling and ungrammatical wife. Aisha made Buhari look good.
But every Nigerian can also remember late Imperious Stella Obasanjo, manipulative Turei Yar’Adua and the scandalous Patience Jonathan. They do not want a First Lady like those any more, with large office, with retinue of aides, with large and humongous ceremonial entourage to shopping plazas in the Western hemisphere.
There is little evidence that Aisha does not get angry that Baba Buhari does not want her to spread her wings, flex some muscle and make some “ Shout out” in Europe and elsewhere. Nigerians are beginning to observe her “Hermes” bags, her Gucci shoes and these designer outfits which do not come cheap. And being very superstitious and suspicious lots, they are beginning to see our recovered loots inside those big designer items. We cannot afford it and our people agree with our President that the office of First Lady is scrapped and the potential occupier be tamed.
Looking through my experienced glasses, this woman is packed with lots and lots and she knows it. She wants to use it, demonstrate it exhibit it. I am afraid, this is the stuff called ambition. I am convinced Nigerians have had enough of the stuff.
In the final submission, I shall take Aisha’s complaints apart and subject them to fact check.
