Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) disclosed large dollar deals with JP Morgan and Goldman Sachs in documents that also confirmed it broke limits on lending to the government.

Annual financial statements, published for the first time since 2015, refer to two securities lending agreements with JP Morgan Chase & Co. for $7 billion in 2021 and two of $500 million with Goldman Sachs Group Inc.

There was no further information disclosed regarding the securities that were pledged in return for cash.

Goldman declined to comment. Officials at JPMorgan and the CBN did not respond to requests for comment.

CBN, which published the multiple annual financial statements on its website on Aug. 9, also showed it vastly exceeded the limit placed on its lending to the government, which is capped by statue at 5% of federal revenue.

The Abuja-based bank said that based on the actual government revenues of 5.05 trillion naira ($6.5 billion) at the end of 2021, it should not have lent more than 252 billion naira to the government in 2022. Instead by the end of December 2022, the Bank had advanced a total of 23.18 trillion naira to the government.

This “exceeded the statutory limit by 22.9 trillion naira” the bank said in the statement, it’s first public admission that the rules had been breached.

The International Monetary Fund warned on Thursday that the central bank’s continuous lending to the government are causing excess liquidity, depressing interest rates, discouraging savings and deterring the dollar inflows that could boost naira stability after the government allowed its local currency to trade more freely since mid-June.

Nigerian lawmakers early this year raised the limit the central bank can lend to the government to 15% of previous year’s revenue but insisted that the government must in future seek its approval before it can take on such debts.

The disclosures come at a period of volatility for the naira, which has plunged around 40% in value against the dollar after President Bola Tinubu relaxed foreign exchange rules following his May 29 inauguration. Tinubu’s reforms, which include scrapping costly fuel subsidies, have led to a rally in dollar bonds and raised stocks to a 15-year high.

He also suspended the central bank Governor Godwin Emefiele in early June and has since opened a probe into the monetary authority’s activities.

Emefiele had massively expanded the central bank’s overdraft to the government since 2015, as the government borrowed aggressively to offset declining revenues from crude oil exports. The overdrafts make up nearly 40% of the total asset size of 58 trillion naira of the central bank as at the end of last year.

Nigerian Association of Resident Doctors (NARDs) has suspended its ongoing nationwide strike, which commenced over two weeks ago following government’s failure to meet the demands of its members.

NARDs President, Emeka Orji, disclosed this yesterday, saying that following the intervention of Mr President and the Senate President earlier in the week, some of the demands of the association have been met, while they promised to start working on the remaining ones.

“So we don’t see the need to continue with the strike, we are hoping that they continue the process of resolving the problems that made us to go on the strike in the first place”.

Orji stated that all NARD members are expected to resume work on Saturday by 8 am.

He revealed further that the Federal government has approved payment of the 2023 Medical Residency Training Fund (MRTF), while the government is working on the circular on one-for-one replacement.

Orji stated that the circular on one-for-one replacement is very important to the association as it will help in addressing the problem of severe manpower shortages being experienced in the hospitals.

He noted that the National Executive Committee of the association will meet in two weeks to review progress, hoping that the government by then will have made progress in the process they have started regarding the circular.

On July 26, 2023, NARD declared a total and indefinite strike action over failure of the government to meet the demands of its members.

Major demands of the Association included immediate payment of the 2023 MRTF, immediate release of the circular on one-for-one replacement, payment of skipping arrears, and upward review of CONMESS in line with full salary restoration to the 2014 value of CONMESS.

Others are payment of the arrears of consequential adjustment of minimum to the omitted doctors, reversal of the downgrading of the membership certificate by the Medical and Dental Council of Nigeria ( MDCN), payment of MRTF, new hazard allowance, skipping and implementation of corrected CONMESS in State Tertiary Health institutions, and payment of omitted hazard allowance arrears.

It would be recalled that the association met during the week with the Legislative arms of government led by the Special Adviser to the President on Health, Dalma Ana’s Ibrahim and the Legislative arm led by the Senate President, Godswill Akpabio, during which both arms requested that the striking doctors give them 24 hours to take measure decisions.

Following their interventions, NARDs suspended the mass protest and picketing of government offices earlier scheduled for last Wednesday.

The Guardian

Russia has warned that military intervention in Niger would lead to a "protracted confrontation" after regional bloc Ecowas said it would assemble a standby force.

Such an intervention would destabilise the Sahel region as a whole, the Russian foreign ministry said.

Russia does not formally back the coup.

But the US, which backs efforts to restore deposed leader Mohamed Bazoum, says its Wagner mercenary group is taking advantage of the instability.

On Friday, coup supporters, some waving Russian flags, protested at a French military base near the capital NIamey, some chanting "down with France, down with Ecowas".

Both France and the US operate military bases in Niger and they have been used to launch operations against jihadist groups in the wider region.

Military officials from Ecowas countries are reportedly set to meet on Saturday to draft plans for a military intervention.

The bloc has said it remains open to finding a diplomatic solution to the crisis, but Nigeria's President Bola Tinubu said on Thursday that "No option is taken off the table, including the use of force as a last resort".

The US has not explicitly backed military action but has called on the junta to step aside and allow the restoration of the country's democratic constitution.

The Niger junta has not responded to the latest statements from Ecowas leaders.

Meanwhile fears are growing for the health and safety of Bazoum, who has been held captive since the military seized power on July 26.

BBC

Protesting Benue women mounted a roadblock on Makurdi/Laafia/Abuja highway on Friday, following the killing of five people by suspected herders.

According to a local who simply identified himself as Sunny, five people were killed in separate attacks by suspected herdsmen in two communities in the Guma Local Government area of Benue State.

Sunny who spoke to our correspondent on the phone said that three people were killed Thursday night at Ngban and another two at Nyian.

Confirming the report, the security officer of Guma Local Government, Christopher Waku, said that five people were killed by suspected herders.

Waku said, “Our women have trooped out to the Makurdi/Abuja highway since 5 am today, you can hear from the background how they are singing emotional songs and no vehicle coming from either Abuja or Makurdi can move now.

“The women are protesting the killing of five people yesterday (Thursday) night and this morning (Friday).

He added, “Three people were killed at Ngban yesterday night and two people killed at Nyian this morning, the women have said that they are not going to leave the road until the governor comes and talks to them. I’m right now at the road the women are protesting waiting for governor, Hyacinth Alia.”

Efforts to get the Police Public Relations Officer, Catherine Anene were not successful as her phone rang out.

Punch

RUSSIAN PERSPECTIVE

Egypt rejects US pressure to arm Ukraine – WSJ

Egyptian officials have reportedly decided not to get involved in arming Ukraine, shrugging off repeated US requests in recent months to produce artillery shells and other weapons needed for Kiev’s counteroffensive against Russian forces in the Donbass region.

Washington asked Egypt to supply artillery, antitank missiles, air defense systems and small arms for Ukraine, the Wall Street Journal reported on Friday, citing unidentified US officials. The requests were made on multiple occasions, including a March meeting between US Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin and Egyptian President Abdel Fattah al-Sisi in Cairo.

“In conversations with US officials, Egypt hasn’t definitively rejected the requests, but Egyptian officials said privately that Egypt has no plans to send the weapons,” the newspaper said.

That message apparently hasn’t gotten through to Washington. A US State Department official expressed optimism on getting Egypt to back Ukraine, telling the media outlet that “our discussions with our Egyptian partners on our mutual interest in ending Russa’s war are productive and ongoing.”

Earlier this year, Cairo reportedly backed down under US pressure from an alleged plan to sell rockets to Russia. Al-Sisi has tried to maintain good relations with both Washington and Moscow amid the Ukraine crisis, declining to join in the US-led campaign to arm Ukraine and punish Russia.

The WSJ noted that the failure to enlist Egypt in the effort comes at a “critical moment” in the conflict, in which Ukrainian forces are trying to push through Russia’s formidable defensive lines as the US tries to rally military and diplomatic support for Kiev. Al-Sisi’s decision also comes at a time when some members of Congress are urging President Joe Biden’s administration to withhold $320 million of the $1.3 billion in annual US military aid pledged to Egypt, citing the country’s human rights record.

US intelligence agencies reportedly expected a different outcome. The Washington Post reported in April that according to leaked US intelligence documents, the Egyptian government had approved a plan to sell 152mm and 155mm artillery rounds to the US for transfer to Ukraine.

Al-Sisi attended Russian President Vladimir Putin’s summit with African leaders last month in St. Petersburg. After a one-on-one meeting with al-Sisi, Putin said Russia aimed to complete an industrial zone near the Suez Canal as part of a plan to ramp up trade with Egypt and other African nations.

** Ukraine's capitulation to pave way to peace, but Washington, Kiev blocking path — Medvedev

The only thing Ukraine really needs is capitulation, which could very likely pave the way to peace, but neither Washington nor Kiev want such an outcome, Russian Security Council Deputy Chairman Dmitry Medvedev said.

"The people suffering in the trenches of a divided country really need only to surrender, which could potentially pave the way to peace. But neither Washington nor Kiev want peace," he wrote on his Telegram channel.

Medvedev pointed out that, "the meat processing plant that is [Kiev's] counteroffensive is now operating nonstop, sending thousands of unfortunate people to the slaughterhouse." "But this operation is already powerless to help the Kiev regime, which has now advanced to the stage of post-mortem putrefaction. Nothing could regalvanize its corpse at this point," the senior official concluded.

Commenting on the Biden administration's latest request to the US Congress to appropriate another $13 billion in emergency military aid to Kiev, Medvedev noted that, "the enlightened world once again shuddered upon learning of the allocation of tens of meaningless billions of dollars for the zombies from Country 404 (a euphemism for Ukraine)." At the same time, "the kamikazes stuck in burning Western tanks will not see this [money allocated by Washington]," Medvedev asserted. "They will see nothing but death," he added.

At the same time, the senior official pointed out, this money is very important "for the gerontocratic elite of the US Democratic Party and its lackeys in the EU." "After all, the myth of the 'great counteroffensive' is sustained by the myth of the 'almighty dollar-based economy,'" he explained.

WESTERN PERSPECTIVE

Ukraine sacks army recruitment chiefs in anti-graft shakeup

President Volodymyr Zelenskiy broadened his battle against graft on Friday, firing all the heads of Ukraine's regional army recruitment centres as the war with Russia enters a critical stage.

Zelenskiy said a state investigation into centres across Ukraine had exposed abuses by officials ranging from illegal enrichment to transporting draft-eligible men across the border despite a wartime ban on them leaving the country.

He said 112 criminal cases had been opened in a wide-ranging probe launched after a graft scandal at a recruitment office in Odesa region last month. He used harsh rhetoric likely to be welcomed by Ukrainians appalled by cases of wartime corruption.

"This system should be run by people who know exactly what war is and why cynicism and bribery during war is treason," he said, adding that those fired would be replaced by recent veterans and soldiers wounded at the front.

Ukraine has made cracking down on graft a priority as it fends off Russia's full-scale invasion and seeks membership of the European Union and has fired or prosecuted a string of high-ranking officials implicated in sleaze.

Friday's move comes at a particularly sensitive moment for Kyiv with its long-touted counteroffensive hampered by extensive Russian defences across swathes of the southeast.

Zelenskiy said that any sacked army recruitment officers who are not being investigated should head to the front to fight for Ukraine "if they want to keep their epaulettes and prove their dignity".

"But let me emphasize: the army is not and never will be a substitute for criminal punishment. Officials who confused epaulettes with perks will definitely face trial," he said in his statement.

Tens of thousands of Ukrainians have been killed or wounded in fighting since Russia invaded in February 2022.

Ukraine has increasingly faced recruitment challenges as the war, now in an brutally attritional phase, nears the 18-month mark. The military has been occasionally hit by scandals involving graft or heavy-handed recruitment tactics.

Last month, the head of the Odesa region's recruitment centre was ordered into pre-trial detention on suspicion of illegal enrichment. Ukrainian media reports found his family had acquired lavish property in Spain.

Videos purporting to depict army recruiters aggressively pursuing or becoming violent with would-be draftees have gone viral on social media in the country, which has been under martial law since the invasion.

Zelenskiy said top general Valery Zaluzhny would be responsible for implementing Friday's decision and that new candidates for the posts would first be vetted by Ukraine's domestic security service, the SBU.

Despite recent moves against graft, Ukraine still ranks 116th out of 180 countries in Transparency International's latest Corruption Perceptions Index.

A Transparency-commissioned opinion poll in June found that 77% of Ukrainians believe corruption is among Ukraine's most serious problems.

Zelenskiy was elected in 2019 on a campaign pledge to stomp out graft.

RT/Tass/Reuters

Yair Rosenberg

Like any other technology, whether nuclear power or the printing press, social media is only as good as the people who use it—and over the past decade, we haven’t exactly used it well. What began as a promising prospect for connecting communities and amplifying new voices has gradually evolved into an engine for sowing upset, distrust, and conspiracy. As the next generation of social-media sites emerges, one question is: Can we do better?

I think so. Rather than holding out for unlikely top-down solutions from Washington or Silicon Valley, users can solve our problems from the bottom up. As individuals, we can’t necessarily make better social-media platforms, but we can make better choices on them. So whether you’re joining a new site like Threads or trying to get more out of an old haunt like Facebook, here are some tips for how to use social media without it using you.

Have a block party.

In real life, if someone crashed a gathering of strangers and started disrupting conversations while shouting abuse, they’d quickly be bounced from the party. Yet on social media, this sort of caustic conduct is not only tolerated but sometimes celebrated. In our day-to-day lives, getting disciplined for misbehavior is how we learn to be better. But because such norms were never upheld on the internet, many spaces turned toxic, and many people never got the feedback they needed to grow out of their bad habits. Blocking is part of that feedback. When people realize that their opinions won’t be heard if they express them in a certain way, they stop. Even if they don’t, you have no obligation to accommodate them. Your social-media feed is your party and you decide the guest list. By doing so, you’re not being thin-skinned; you’re being a conscientious host who cultivates good vibes.

Read the room—correctly.

The admonishment to “read the room” is one of the lazier retorts on social media. It’s a way for the intellectually unserious to dismiss an argument without engaging with its substance by gesturing to the reaction of an imaginary audience. But the concept contains a kernel of truth. On social media, we all operate in different rooms and have different people in mind when we speak. A lot of online conflict results from crossed wires, when conversation intended for one context (an ironic in-joke for like-minded people) bleeds into another (among people who don’t understand the joke). But this problem has an easy fix: Before posting something, ask yourself if this is the right platform for what you’re about to say.

Some pronouncements are meant for the group chat, not the entire internet. Others benefit from the widest possible hearing. Want TV or travel recommendations? Ask the hive mind of Twitter or Facebook. Trying to share your scenic vacation? Instagram it. Want to discuss sensitive personal stuff or work through a thorny political question? Hit up your friends in the chat or just send a private message to a trusted confidant. Done right, reading the room shouldn’t stop you from saying what you want but rather help you say things where they can genuinely be heard.

Don’t use social media as a proxy for public opinion.

Precisely because different platforms are good for different things, they attract different types of people and discourse. This means that these sites are pretty poor barometers of popular sentiment. To take one example, the Pew Research Center has found that only 23 percent of American adults use Twitter—the site now known as X—and of those people, “the most active 25% … produced 97% of all tweets.” Put another way, nearly all U.S. tweets come from about 5 percent of adults. There’s nothing wrong with this. In general, social-media sites each serve their own niches and communities. The problem arises when people try to use these platforms as something they’re not: representative samples of the public. This tends to result in wrong conclusions about our world, because the sites were never meant for this purpose.

Places such as TikTok and Twitter tend to privilege the loudest, most entertaining, or most abrasive voices—not necessarily the wisest or the kindest. Moreover, as is the case with most new technologies, the user base of social-media platforms skews young, which means one is less likely to hear from the elderly about their perspectives and experiences. (This is one reason why political candidates like Joe Biden tend to perform poorly on social media but better at the ballot box.) When adopting new platforms and using old ones, we should keep their limits in mind, and not uncritically permit what’s popular on them to influence the course of entire companies or countries.

Resist rage bait.

“The tricky thing about twitter is: you see how angry people get about injustice, and you’re like ‘oh this is a great place’, but then you scroll a bit further and the conversation about apple sauce is just as angry and you start to think maybe it’s not so great after all.” This 2020 observation from the video-game streamer Stephen Flavall perfectly captures the way that social media runs on outrage and othering, to the point that seemingly every online subculture is eventually overtaken by the angriest and most oppositional version of itself. There’s a reason for this: Rage travels.

In 2021, researchers at the University of Cambridge and NYU found that tweets about a person’s ideological opponents were more likely to be shared, and more likely to evoke angry responses, than tweets about their political allies. Disagreement, in other words, proved more viral than agreement. Meanwhile, researchers at Yale found that likes and shares of angry posts encouraged those who wrote them to make more angry posts in the future. Taken together, these studies illustrate how social media creates a feedback loop in which users are encouraged by the platform itself to post progressively more unhinged utterances about their enemies. Behavior that gets rewarded gets repeated.

Marinating in spaces optimized for outrage has many negative consequences for both our civic discourse and mental health. If everything is outrageous, nothing is, and we lose the ability to express opprobrium when it’s genuinely necessary. Professional trolls have weaponized the fury of others for personal profit, purposely provoking outraged responses to their content in order to elevate their profile. (One of them even became president.) But there’s a simple way to escape this trap: Boost things you like and ignore things you don’t. Block bad actors rather than engaging with them. There can be exceptions to this rule, but sticking to it as a default will greatly improve your online experience and disincentivize incendiary individuals from attempting to hijack our collective attention.

Put down the pitchfork.

In June 2020, Peter Weinberg trended on Twitter and was inundated across multiple platforms with vicious, excoriating messages from people he’d never met. The 49-year-old’s home address was even posted online. The reason: He’d been captured in a viral video assaulting a girl who had been posting flyers in support of George Floyd. Except he wasn’t. The entire affair was a case of mistaken identity on the part of amateur internet sleuths. Weinberg had been at the scene of the incident—the day after it occurred. He also wasn’t the only victim of this drive-by vigilante justice. As New Yorkmagazine reported, “Another man, a former Maryland cop, was wrongly accused, too. The tweet accusing him was retweeted and liked more than half a million times.”

Outrage mobs are perhaps the most pernicious manifestation of social media’s pathologies. Many of these pile-ons are mistaken in their choice of target and nearly always disproportionate to the offense. Because you can’t know in the moment whether you are joining an outpouring that is justified or misguided, the responsible choice is to abstain. If you wouldn’t want your existence upended over a grainy partial video clip or a poorly phrased post, you shouldn’t help upend someone else’s. And frankly, getting repeatedly exercised over the antics of individuals you’ve never met and wouldn’t know existed if not for social media is neither a healthy nor productive use of our limited time on this Earth.

Choose your lane.

When it seems like everyone is talking about something, it’s natural to feel compelled to talk about that thing. In this way, social media prods us to perform as pundits and comment on events as they unfold in real time. Plenty of people ignore this impulse and just keep posting pictures of their grandkids or dog. But others give in to it, which leads to all sorts of problems. That’s because no one is an expert on everything, and we all have plenty of blind spots that could lead to embarrassment—whether about communities of people we don’t know or intellectual topics we haven’t studied. In real life, we usually don’t run into many situations where these blind spots are exposed, and when we do, we hopefully have friends who will gently correct us. A platform like Twitter is not so forgiving—it’s more like a string of ideological banana peels laid out in front of an audience of millions of strangers. Every day, something on the site or its many successors tempts us to comment outside our expertise. But we don’t have to do it.

Not only will such restraint save you from embarrassment, it will prevent you from overreacting to the latest breaking news, and it will help you make a difference when you have something important to say. The more topics you publicly pontificate about online, the more likely you will slip up and give people reasons to discount whatever else you say. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be outspoken on the internet! But you should limit yourself to your areas of actual expertise, where you most hope to be heard or influence people. The last thing you want is for your off-the-cuff take on a culture-war issue to discredit your deeply informed insights on the things that truly matter to you. This is also why journalists and academics, who rely on public trust to get their message across, should stick to their beats rather than post about subjects outside their ambit. When in doubt, recall the wisdom of the first-century rabbi who said, “All my days I grew up among the sages, and I have found nothing better for a person than silence.”

Read before burning.

We’ve all done it. Incensed by a headline, tweet, or screenshot of an article, we shared our upset about a story—without actually reading the piece in question and finding out whether the headline was accurate or the context of the excerpted quotation changed its meaning. Doing this may seem harmless in isolation, but in practice, it’s not happening in isolation. Many social-media users today believe it is perfectly reasonable to pass judgment on content they haven’t actually consumed, and the collective accretion of such potemkin pontification has the effect of polluting the public discourse.

Your first-grade teacher had this one right: Don’t judge a book by its cover, or, in this case, a story by its tweet or headline. Commenting confidently on material you haven’t bothered to read isn’t just intellectually dishonest; it disrespects your followers by telling them you don’t think enough of them to read the things you share with them. It turns social media into a farce in which individuals spar over imagined arguments that nobody actually made. No one wins these debates, and no one emerges any wiser. It’s time to collectively commit to ending this practice, and, when necessary, call out those who engage in it.

Oh, and if you got to this point before commenting on what’s written here: congratulations. You’re already part of the solution. Now feel free to tell me why I’m completely wrong.

The Atlantic

BuzzFeed Staff

I think many of us can relate to the feeling of realizing that you were being flirted with, and you were totally oblivious to it. Orrrrr is that just me?

Anyway, Redditor u/UnawareMother recently asked, "What's the biggest hint you've ever missed from a woman?" And the comments — largely from men — were full of hilarious yet cringe stories of having absolutely ZERO idea that someone was interested in them. Here are some of the best ones:

1.

"Went on a short road trip with a girl from work. When booking hotels for the stay, she said, 'Let's book a single room with separate beds; it'll save us money.' I thought that was a good idea and went ahead.

That evening when we went to bed, I was showing her a YouTube video on my phone and she went, 'Make yourself comfy! Why are you sitting on the edge of the bed?' and raised the comforter, indicating that I ought to slide in next to her in her bed (which I did).

When we were chit-chatting, I reached out for a bottle of water that was on a table across from her and accidentally brushed her bra strap with my elbow. I apologized and took a gulp of water. She asked 'Is my bra in the way?' I said, 'Nah, I managed to get the bottle, don't worry about it!'

One day after the road trip ended, it hit me.

And yes, I know I'm an absolute dumbass."

—u/haajisquickvanish

2.

"In high school, I caught a wickedly beautiful classmate sitting at my desk. When she looked up and saw me, she turned bright red and looked extremely embarrassed. Hours later, I realized that someone had written a love note directly on the cover of my notebook... And all I thought was, Huh, that’s weird.

To this day, I think of how stupid I was at 16."

—u/InformalManager3359

3.

"'You know I'm single right?'

'Yeah, me too.'"

—u/boparoy485

4.

"I was Snapchatting a girl from my high school when there was a pause in her response, then she sent me a post-shower selfie with her arm just barely covering her breasts with the caption 'come play zombies' (she had mentioned playing [Call of Duty] zombies earlier in the convo) and my dumbass goes:

'Do you have Xbox Live?'

'No'

'Then how will we play?'

'Idk'

Her shirt was back on after that.

It’s been 10 years and I’m still kicking myself."

—u/Comeonjeffrey0193

5.

"When I worked at an electronics store, a girl asked me for game recommendations, for the Switch in general and specifically multiplayer games. I showed her the best off of the console, she picked out a single-player game that she liked and we talked about it for a while. She then asked me if I live around here. I said yes. She asked if I’d like to play together sometime… I said well that’s not really a multiplayer game. Then another customer had a question so the conversation broke off. The girl quickly left but did not buy the game. I’m still thinking about this interaction every now and then."

—u/Xello_99

6.

"I had a girl literally just explicitly say she liked me and wanted to date and I assumed she was joking. She was not."

—u/boparoy485

7.

"I had a girl in university ask if I was single. When I said yes, she asked if I wanted or was looking for a girlfriend and I said yeah I suppose so, and she came back with, 'Yeah, being single is tough, would be nice to just have someone to go on dates with.' I, in all my glory and skills with the ladies, came back with 'yup, sure would be!' And walked into class before her."

—u/mfkterrence

8.

"In class, a girl asked if we could study together for a minor quiz at her place.

A friend overhears and asks if he can join us, I say yes immediately before she can say anything.

She sends us her address and a time. I show up and she answers the door in a bikini. Nobody else at her place. She says she was sunbathing and asks me into her room while she changes. I look away to be polite and then make small talk once she's done.

My friend shows up 30 minutes later, turns out she told him that the study group started 30 minutes after what she told me.

Sigh..."

—u/mapom66490

9.

"A lifetime ago in high school, the extremely cute exchange student from Spain sort of cornered me and started asking questions about an upcoming school dance. What is it like? Is it fun? Are you going with anyone?

Ynez, if you're out there, I'm sorry. I'm a dope."

—u/bepiti5170

10.

"Watching TV in my living room at roughly 2 a.m., in the dark.

Her: *applying strawberry lip gloss*

Me: Why are you putting on lip gloss?

Her: Strawberry lip gloss tastes so nice.

Me: Haha, you're weird.

Her: Want to taste?

Me: Nah, I already know what it tastes like.

Commence several years of late-night self-loathing and regret."

—u/jamoce4269

11.

"This was back in high school. I was super shy. I had been crushing hard on this girl since freshman year and everybody knew it. She had thrown hints at me forever and I never acted. I was insanely good at math.

So one day as I'm coming out of class she stops me and says that she heard that I'm some kind of math genius and asked me to tutor her. I asked her what she's going to pay me. She says very suggestively, 'Oh don't worry, you'll be well rewarded.'

My stupid ass responds, 'No I need actual numbers to know if it's worth my time,' smh. I was so dumb lol."

—u/threat024

12.

"I have very flexible joints. As a result, I was well known for doing tricks with my hands during my early uni days. Things like bending my fingers backwards to touch the back of my hand, touching my arm with my thumb, bending fingers into a Z shape, etc.

I was at a party with classmates and this girl I vaguely knew asked me for a private demonstration of my hands. I was slightly buzzed at the time so I said sure and took her to the kitchen while she giggled. I started doing my usual tricks but I quickly noticed something was wrong because she got this disappointed look on her face. She mumbled something akin to 'OK cool' and left the party claiming she was tired, leaving me confused for the rest of the night.

It took me three days of sobering up before I realized I had fucked up and by the time I saw her again it was too awkward to talk about."

—u/Ralath1n

"This is funnier if she never heard about the tricks and only knew you by your reputation for magical fingers."

—u/NonarbitraryMale

13.

"Drove every week from Pennsylvania to Chicago to see a girl I had a crush on. Still lived with her parents, so I never stayed the night.

She always was flirty, but 'then-me' was oblivious. When I stayed later than usual one night, and I yawned, she said, 'You should just stay the night and we can get a hotel room.'

I said, 'Nah, I'm good to drive, I'll make it.' She said, 'No, don't be silly. We can hang out tonight.'

I was in the middle of Ohio when I realized what she meant."

—u/mapom66490

14.

"Hanging out with a coworker at her apartment, each 19–20ish. Sitting on the couch side by side, she complained that her large breasts were a pain to deal with because of their size, followed by '...Do you want to touch them?'

I sort of half-juggled them (as though I was comparing the weight involved) and said, 'Hmm, nice.'

Not the only signal I missed that night, but probably my defining moment of obvious failure."

—u/mapom66490

15.

"We were seeing a movie together and she said she was cold. I said, 'Yeah it's pretty chilly,' and did nothing. Later she said it again, pretty obvious what she wanted. I proceeded to give her my jacket to put around her.

I'm a practical man."

—u/hixika8431

16.

"My first weekend of college a girl asked me if I wanted to wrestle her in my dorm.

I wrestled her in my dorm. Nothing more."

—u/Jdw5186

"Did you at least win?"

—u/truthm0de

"I did. She let me pin her down. She was on her back and I was sitting on top of her holding her arms down behind her head... then just... stood up."

—u/Jdw5186

17.

"While in high school I was at a gig with a bunch of people from my year and had been standing next to this girl the whole night chatting.

Another guy asked us if we were together and she replied 'not yet' and I laughed and replied 'good one' while she looked at me weirdly.

I had such a crush on her as well."

—u/McClernon

18.

"In high school I asked a girl to come watch a movie rental with me and some friends. She was sitting on the floor in front of me, and rubbed her neck saying that her neck/shoulders were sore. Completely missing the cue to offer a back massage, I got up and offered her a Tylenol. My buddies ribbed me for that for a long time. Somehow with my terrible game I still managed to marry her and we have three kids now."

—u/twilling8

BuzzFeed

West African leaders said they would deploy a standby force of troops to potentially intervene to restore democracy in Niger, where the president was deposed in a July 26 coup.

The announcement came on Thursday at an emergency meeting of the Economic Community of West African States in Abuja, the capital of Nigeria, after Niger’s ruling military junta ignored the regional bloc’s deadline to reinstate President Mohamed Bazoum.

“No option is taken off the table, including the use of force as a last resort. If we don’t do it, no one else will do it for us,” said Nigerian President Bola Tinubu, who currently chairs ECOWAS. “I hope that through our collective efforts we can bring about a peaceful resolution as a roadmap to restoring stability and democracy in Niger. All is not lost yet.”

It wasn’t immediately clear how the ECOWAS Standby Force will be deployed. Any intervention would have to be led by Nigeria, the region’s most populous and influential country and its biggest military. But Tinubu has already faced pushback from politicians in Nigeria’s north, which shares a more than 1,000-mile border and cultural ties with Niger.

The bloc, which pledged to enforce asset freezes and travel bans on those hindering the return to democracy, said it would continue to prioritize diplomacy in Niger. It’s the region’s sixth coup in the last three years and has also brought condemnation from Western countries including France and the US, which together have thousands of troops stationed in the country. Niger is a key international ally in the global fight against jihadists in the region.

Bazoum was overthrown last month by a group of soldiers led by General Abdourahamane Tiani. The junta failed to meet a deadline set by regional leaders to relinquish power by Aug. 6.

Junta members told US Under Secretary of State Victoria Nuland, who visited Niger this week, that they would kill Bazoum if there was any regional military intervention to restore his rule, the Associated Press cited two unidentified Western officials as saying.

Bazoum is being deprived of food, water and electricity at an army camp where he’s been held captive for the past two weeks, according to people familiar with the matter. UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres issued a statement voicing concern over the “deplorable living conditions” being imposed on the president and his family. ECOWAS said it would hold the junta “fully and solely responsible” for Bazoum’s safety and security.

On Thursday, the junta announced the appointment of a 21-member cabinet, naming military officers to the key posts of defense, security and interior ministers. Ali Lamine Zeine, who was appointed as prime minister earlier this week, was also given the finance portfolio.

If it is ultimately successful, the coup will create a belt of military-run countries from the Atlantic Ocean to the Red Sea, most of which are friendlier with Russia than with the West.

Bloomberg

Niger’s junta told a top U.S. diplomat that they would kill deposed President Mohamed Bazoum if neighboring countries attempted any military intervention to restore his rule, two Western officials told The Associated Press.

They spoke to the AP shortly before the West African bloc ECOWAS said it had directed the deployment of a “standby force” to restore democracy in Niger, after its deadline of Sunday to reinstate Bazoum expired.

The threat to the deposed president raises the stakes both for ECOWAS and for the junta, which has shown its willingness to escalate its actions since it seized power on July 26.

Niger was seen as the last country in the Sahel region south of the Sahara Desert that Western nations could partner with to counter jihadi violencelinked to al-Qaida and the Islamic State group that has killed thousands and displaced millions of people. The international community is scrambling to find a peaceful solution to the country’s leadership crisis.

Representatives of the junta told U.S. Under Secretary of State Victoria Nuland of the threat to Bazoum during her visit to the country this week, a Western military official said, speaking on condition of anonymity because of the sensitivity of the situation.

A U.S. official confirmed that account, also speaking on condition of anonymity, because they were not authorized to speak to the media.

The threats from both sides escalate tensions but hopefully nudge them closer to actually talking, said Aneliese Bernard, a former U.S. State Department official who specialized in African affairs and is now director of Strategic Stabilization Advisors, a risk advisory group.

“Still, this junta has escalated its moves so quickly that it’s possible they do something more extreme, as that has been their approach so far,” she cautioned.

Nine leaders from the 15-member West African bloc met Thursday in the Nigerian capital, Abuja, to discuss their next steps.

Speaking after the talks, ECOWAS commission president Omar Alieu Touray said he could only reaffirm the decisions by “the military authorities in the subregion to deploy a standby force of the community.”

Financing had been discussed and "appropriate measures have been taken,” he said.

He blamed the junta for any hardship caused by the sanctions imposed on Niger and said further actions by the bloc would be taken jointly.

“It is not one country against another country. The community has instruments to which all members have subscribed to,” he said.

A former British Army official who has worked in Nigeria told The Associated Press the ECOWAS statement could be seen as the green light to begin assembling their forces with the ultimate aim of restoring constitutional order.

With regards to the use of force, the official, who was not authorized to speak to the media, said there was currently nothing in place other than Nigerian forces. Without enablers and the support of other regional armies, it’s unlikely they’d enter, the official said.

ECOWAS has imposed harsh economic and travel sanctions on Niger, but analysts say it may be running out of options as support fades for intervention. The bloc has failed to stem past coups in the region: Niger is the fourth of its member states to undergo a coup in the last three years.

Nnamdi Obasi, a senior adviser with the Crisis Group think tank, said ECOWAS should further explore diplomacy in Niger.

“The use of force could lead to unintended and catastrophic consequences with unpredictable outcomes,” he said, warning that a military intervention could also trigger a “major regional conflict” between democratic governments and an alliance of military regimes.

The wider African Union has yet to weigh in on this crisis.

“The AU Peace and Security Council could well overrule this ECOWAS decision if it felt that wider peace and security on the continent was threatened by an intervention,” said Cameron Hudson, a former official for the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency.

“Any coup that has succeeded beyond 24 hours has come to stay. So, as it is, they are speaking from the point of strength and advantage,” said Oladeinde Ariyo, a security analyst in Nigeria. “So, negotiating with them will have to be on their terms.”

The junta has cut ties with France and exploited popular grievances toward its former colonial ruler. It also has asked for help from the Russian mercenary group Wagner, which operates in a handful of African countries and has been accused of committing human rights abuses.

Moscow is using Wagner and other channels of influence to discredit Western nations, asserted Lou Osborn , an investigator with All Eyes on Wagner, a project focusing on the group.

Tactics include using social media to spread rumors, mobilize demonstrations and spread false narratives, Osborn said.

She pointed to a Telegram post on Wednesday by an alleged Wagner operative, Alexander Ivanov, asserting that France had begun the “mass removal of children” likely to be used for slave labor and sexual exploitation.

Neither Russia's government nor Wagner responded to questions.

Meanwhile, Niger's approximately 25 million people are feeling the impact of the sanctions.

Some neighborhoods in the capital, Niamey have little access to electricity and there are frequent power cuts across the city. The country gets up to 90% of its power from Nigeria, which has cut off some of the supply.

Since the coup, Hamidou Albade, 48, said he's been unable to run his shop on the outskirts of Niamey because there's been no electricity. He also works as a taxi driver but lost business because a lot of his foreign clients have left.

“It's very difficult, I just sit at home doing nothing,” he said. Still, he supports the junta. “We’re suffering now, but I know the junta will find a solution to get out of the crisis,” he said.

Bloomberg

A former Director, Civil Society of the All Progressives Congress (APC) Presidential Campaign Council (PCC), Najatu Muhammed, has said the declaration of war on Niger Republic by the Economic Community of West African States (ECOWAS) led by President Bola Tinubu is a ploy to distract Nigerians from the proceedings of the Presidential Election Petition Tribunal (PEPT). 

Najatu, in a statement yesterday, called on Nigerians to stand united in calling the ECOWAS leaders to order by denouncing violence and addressing the devastating consequences of war on human lives and societies. 

She said, “Such despicable action in the name of democracy is not only condemnable, but also unacceptable. Today in Nigeria, we have Tinubu being supported by France after the most controversial election declaration in the history of our country. 

“If Nigeria is at war, Tinubu can declare a state of emergency or a martial law that will allow him remain in power indefinitely, putting aside any tribunal or judicial process challenging his eligibility to even contest the election. 

“With the backing of France and other colonial powers, he will deploy security forces to quell any form of protest to his undemocratic and unconstitutional machinations. 

“Tinubu is aware that he is not eligible to contest. The Tribunal judges know this, APC as a political party also knows this. So, why is Tinubu so eager to go to war on behalf of France and with the backing of France in the name of democracy?” 

But speaking during the 12th National Executive Committee (NEC) meeting of the APC on Thursday last week in Abuja, Tinubu described the 2023 presidential election as the most credible in the history of Nigeria.

Daily Trust