Bolaji Ogundimu had only recently been appointed as my secretary when she put in an application for a housing loan. I had put aside a lump sum of money that could be borrowed by my staff interest-free. This was operated as a round-robin. As some pay back every month, new loans could be disbursed.

However, Bolaji’s chances of getting a loan in the short term were slim because many others were in the queue before her.

But then two “good Samaritans” came to see me. They insisted that Bolaji should be given a loan right away.

What kind of favouritism is this, I wondered? “Bolaji has just applied,” I pointed out. “There are so many others who applied before her and are yet to receive. How could you, in good conscience, argue that she should leapfrog over those she met in the queue? Won’t people say she is being favoured because she happens to be my secretary?”

Bolaji’s “lawyers” were not easily dissuaded. “The problem,” they said, “is that Bolaji’s condition is a bit desperate. We have seen where she lives and feel something needs to be done for her very urgently.”

“How would you feel,” I asked them, “if you were one of those who applied before Bolaji? Would you be so understanding then?”

I put my foot down. “We must do things by the book. We must be fair and be seen to be fair. Bolaji will be given a loan when it is her turn. In the meantime, there is nothing I can do.”

Guilty as charged

I was on a trip to New York when the Lord revisited the issue of Bolaji’s housing loan. Suddenly He asked me:

“Femi, do you love Me?”

“Of course, I love you,” I replied immediately.

But then the Lord continued: “Femi, you don’t love Me.”

I was nothing less than devastated.

“How could you say I don’t love you?” I protested.

“So how come you did not give My son a housing loan?” He continued.

Then I knew I was really in trouble. When the Lord reprimands you concerning someone and then refers to that person endearingly as “My son,” you know you are really in trouble. If the Lord calls Bolaji (who happens to be a woman) “My son,” what does that make me?

“But Bolaji is not qualified for the loan,” I insisted. “There are many other people in the queue before her.”

“What would qualify Bolaji for the housing loan?” the Lord wanted to know.

By this time, I was past argument. My face was simply covered in tears. The Lord pointed out that He had sent two people to me to impress on me the deplorable state of Bolaji’s housing condition. Nevertheless, I failed to respond out of adherence to my so-called principles of fairness.

Then came another bombshell. “You have to make up your mind whether you are going to follow your principles or follow Me.”

I cried non-stop for the next two days. It was deliberately on a weekend, and I could not reach Bolaji until Monday, as she did not have her phone. On Monday morning, I phoned her in my office to apologise to her. I asked her to forgive me for being insensitive to her housing situation.

I told her to take the money for her rent from my office safe, which she operated. “It is not a loan,” I said. “It is a gift from me.” That way, the procedure of the housing loan scheme was not violated. Nobody could accuse me of discrimination. But the love of God had found a way to deal with Bolaji’s urgent housing problem.

The set-up

I thought I was in the clear until the day I was leaving New York to come back to Lagos. First, I wasted some time by haggling with the taxi driver over the fare from Canarsie to John F. Kennedy Airport. It is normally 20 dollars, but he insisted it was 25. Then the queue at the Swiss Air check-in section was slower than usual.

When I finally got to the counter, there was a malfunction with the computer. The lady attendant sought the assistance of a supervisor, who came to fix the problem. I waited, while they discussed, analysed, and fiddled with whatever was on the screen. This went on for about twenty minutes when suddenly another gentleman came to announce that the counter was closed.

Closed? I could not believe my ears. “How could the counter be closed?” I protested. “I have been waiting here for the last twenty minutes while your colleagues have been trying to fix a fault on this terminal.”

I heard the man’s response correctly. I was supposed to hear him. He said to me: “According to the principles of Swiss Air, this terminal closes at six o’clock. Once it is six o’clock, no more passengers are taken on board the plane.”

The man was not one to argue. After he dropped this bombshell, he simply walked away.

I was in a panic. My situation had become rather desperate. I had only $100 left on me. I could not afford to stay any longer in New York. I just had to get on that plane.

And then I heard that still small voice of the Holy Spirit. “So, Femi,” He asked, “how do you intend to get on the plane? They have principles too at Swiss Air.”

Reversal of fortunes

I had been set up by none other than the Holy Spirit. The Lord had brought about a reversal of fortunes. With the housing loan scheme, I was the one who had the prerogative of mercy (or so I thought). With my flight back to Lagos, I was the one in need of mercy. It was time to plea-bargain.

I told the Lord: “I thought you’ve forgiven me concerning Bolaji.” I pointed out that I had not waited until I got back to Lagos to make restitution for my heartlessness. I phoned Bolaji from New York and gave her the money.

“Please, Lord Jesus,” I prayed. “Only Your love can get me on this plane. Please get me on this plane for Your name’s sake.”

Just then a gentleman came and tapped me on the shoulder. He was wearing a Swiss Air uniform. “What seems to be the problem?” he asked. I gave him chapter and verse of everything, including the computer malfunction. “Don’t worry,” he said. “Come with me. But you are going to have to bring your luggage.”

I promptly put my luggage back on the trolley and followed this good Samaritan. This instrument of God’s salvation took me to the Swiss Air boarding gate, got me a boarding pass and put my luggage on the plane.

“Where are you from?” he asked me. I told him I was from Nigeria. He smiled and pointed out that he was from Kenya. I would not have guessed it because he was white. Then he said to me:

“The only thing I don’t like about Nigerians is that you always beat us in football.”

He then shook hands with me and went away.

Getting older and living a long life is a privilege, but that doesn't mean aging is a walk in the park. When Redditor u/Fainne-Wu asked Reddit community members to share the hardest parts about aging, the responses were extremely insightful. Here are some of the hardest truths about aging that you might have never thought about or realized:

1. "I miss living with my parents. I miss seeing my mom every day. I live across the world from her now, and although we call each other every day, it's just not the same."

—u/vicklelikespickles

2. "For me, it's losing that feeling of innocence you had in your youth, like seeing your crush in class and imagining a relationship in your head. Swimming, eating junk food, and watching movies with good friends — no alcohol or drugs, just a family-sized bag of chips and a Dr. Pepper. It's hard to put into words, but I miss that feeling. When you get older, you lose the excitement of so many firsts: your first kiss, your first time sneaking out, your first time walking around a mall without parental guidance, first this, and first that. Life just felt so exhilarating. The feelings begin to fade out as you get older, and it's hard. Those times in the past were so happy."

—u/catherinecrunch
3. "I can't drink like I used to. Thinking about how I used to drink at 18 gives me the shivers. As you get older, you also make a lot more noise, even when you're just moving about as normal."

—u/S1m0n321
4. "Seeing my parents get older."

—u/[deleted]
5. "I could sound like a broken record that's been heard by all generations, but the truth is, as you get older, the healing process gets slower, and you end up in pain for longer periods of time. You'll hit a threshold where trying to work out the pain only makes it worse."

—u/EnyaGotGame

6. "Accepting it."

—u/sneakyBener

7. "The complete inability to sleep in. The older you get, the earlier your body wakes you up. You don't necessarily need to be up for anything on Saturday or Sunday morning, but your body has decided to go to work on your off days. When you're a teenager or in college, sleeping 12-14 hours is considered completely normal and acceptable when there's nothing to do. I would pay $100 a night if I could get 12 hours of uninterrupted sleep and actually feel well-rested when I wake."

—u/[deleted]
8. "It becomes more difficult to make new friends, even as your closest ones move away, die, or just drift apart over time."

—u/[deleted]
9. "Reflecting on the past and wishing you could change certain aspects of your life. Sometimes, it's asking yourself, What if I had done one random thing differently? But then you understand that this is your life now, and there is no going back and no do-overs. The tough reality is that it's hard; you have goals and hopes you never quite achieved, and you constantly ask yourself why you didn't die sooner."

—u/BullyBeater
10. "I regret not enjoying my childhood! I took a lot for granted as a kid. Man, that saying, 'Youth is wasted on the young,' couldn't be more true."

—u/vicklelikespickles

11. "It is increasingly more difficult, expensive, and complicated to do something about a career rut and/or the need to break out and retrain for something else. That, and discovering real talents and passions for things that you realistically have no time or possibility to pursue because you wasted your younger years working jobs you hated to chase someone else's dream."

—u/[deleted]
12. "Feeling your body get worse while your mind doesn't seem to age."

—u/Sydgyan

13. "I heard someone talking about 'not knowing when the good ole days were,' and it's true. You don't know those days are over until they're behind you, and sometimes, if you're lucky, you can have multiple times in your life that are like that. I hope that rings true for the rest of you."

—u/daydrinkingwithbob
14. "Getting both more responsibility and freedom. Like, you could do anything, but that could also fuck you up — and there's no one to stop you from doing that."

—u/Faris_rulez
15. "Time is perceived faster for some reason. Everything speeds up, and you're still trying to catch up. In some ways, it's good, like making the work day go by quicker. In others, it's bad, like having less time for friends and the hobbies you used to be able to devote many more hours to."

—u/[deleted]
16. "With each passing day, my chance to see the world passes. I don't have the money to travel as much as I want, and I know I will die missing out on so much. It's a sad reality for everyone, but it's still hard to handle."

—u/Nathann4288

17. Last but not least: "Seeing people you love make the same mistakes as you did."

—u/vdall

Buzzfeed

A recent report from the United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) has revealed that 69.2% of children in Kano State are classified as multi-dimensionally poor.

The findings were presented by Fatima Musa, a Social Policy Specialist at UNICEF’s Kano Field Office, during a media dialogue held in Zaria on Friday.

This alarming figure underscores the severity of child poverty in the region, with the majority of children in Kano deprived in multiple aspects of well-being, including education, healthcare, nutrition, and shelter.

The media dialogue, aimed at advocating for children’s welfare, brought together news and programme managers from Kano, Katsina, and Jigawa states to discuss pressing issues affecting children’s rights.

Musa highlighted that, in addition to multi-dimensional poverty, 59.5% of children aged 0 to 17 in Kano also suffer from monetary poverty, making it clear that a significant portion of the child population faces substantial challenges on multiple fronts.

“The child Multi-Dimensional Poverty Index (MPI) reveals stark disparities across Nigeria’s geopolitical zones,” Musa said, adding that poverty levels are significantly higher in the North-East and North-West regions, where 90% of children are considered poor. In contrast, the South-East and South-West regions report relatively lower, though still concerning, child poverty rates of 74% and 65.1%, respectively.

Further illustrating the national scope of the crisis, Musa pointed out that the incidence of child MPI exceeds 50% in all Nigerian states and surpasses 95% in states such as Bayelsa, Gombe, Sokoto, and Kebbi. These figures reflect not only income deprivation but also limited access to essential services such as education, healthcare, clean water, and safe housing.

The UN Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) mandates that children, defined as individuals under 18, should be afforded special protection and care by the state, family, and community. However, as Musa noted, current levels of child poverty in Nigeria highlight the urgent need for greater investment in child-focused policies and programmes.

UNICEF has called for increased budgetary allocations at all levels of government to tackle the growing child poverty crisis. Musa emphasised that targeted interventions, such as improved access to quality education, healthcare, and social safety nets, are essential to addressing the root causes of child poverty.

Commending the governments of Katsina and Kano states for their willingness to pilot Universal Child Benefits, Musa described the initiative as a timely measure to reduce child poverty and support vulnerable families.

Meanwhile, Samuel Kaalu, UNICEF’s Communication Specialist for the Kano Field Office, urged the media to prioritise coverage of issues affecting women and children. He specifically called attention to the prevalence of violence against children, which often goes unreported or ignored, and stressed the importance of public awareness campaigns to promote child enrolment in schools and protect children’s rights.

Nairametrics

The Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) has extended the suspension ofprocessing fees on cash deposits for six months.

The development comes six days before the suspension date initially fixed, expires.

On May 1, banks resumed the collection of processing fees on cash deposits.

Six days later, CBN suspended charges on the deposits until September 30.

However, in a circular directed to all banks, other financial institutions and non-financial institutions, dated September 24, 2024, and signed by Adetona Adedeji, CBN’s director of banking supervision, the apex bank extended the date to March 31, 2025.

“Further to our letter dated May 6, 2024, referenced BSD/DIR/PUB/LAB/016/023, the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) hereby extends the suspension of processing charges on cash deposits above N500,000 for individuals and N3,000,000 for corporates,” the apex bank said.

“The previous suspension, set to expire on September 30, 2024, has now been extended until March 31, 2025.

“This suspension pertains to the 2% and 3% fees outlined in the ‘Guide to Charges by Banks, Other Financial Institutions and Non-Bank Financial Institutions, issued on December 20, 2019.”

CBN asked all financial institutions to continue accepting cash deposits from the public without any charges during the period.

The Cable

Israeli airstrikes rock Beirut, Hezbollah command centre hit

A wave of air raids hit Beirut's southern suburbs early on Saturday as Israel stepped up attacks on Hezbollah, after a massive strike on the Iran-backed movement's command centre that apparently targeted leader Hassan Nasrallah.

Reuters witnesses heard more than 20 airstrikes before dawn on Saturday. Abandoning their homes in the southern suburbs, thousands of Lebanese congregated in squares, parks and sidewalks in downtown Beirut and seaside areas.

"They want to destroy Dahiye, they want to destroy all of us," said Sari, a man in his 30s who gave only his first name, referring to the suburb he had fled after an Israeli evacuation order. Nearby, the newly displaced in Beirut's Martyrs Square rolled mats onto the ground to try to sleep.

An unprecedented five hours of continuous strikes early on Saturday followed Friday's attack, by far the most powerful by Israel on Beirut during nearly a year of war with Hezbollah. It marked a sharp escalation of a conflict that has involved daily missile and rocket fire between the two sides.

The latest escalation has sharply increased fears the conflict could spiral out of control, potentially drawing in Iran, Hezbollah's principal backer, as well as the United States.

There was no immediate confirmation of Nasrallah's fate after Friday's heavy strikes, but a source close to Hezbollah told Reuters he was not reachable. The Lebanese armed group has not made a statement.

Israel has not said whether it tried to hit Nasrallah, but a senior Israeli official said top Hezbollah commanders were targeted.

"I think it's too early to say... Sometimes they hide the fact when we succeed," the Israeli official told reporters when asked if the strike on Friday had killed Nasrallah.

Earlier, a source close to Hezbollah told Reuters that Nasrallah was alive. Iran's Tasnim news agency also reported he was safe. A senior Iranian security official told Reuters that Tehran was checking his status.

The Israeli military said in a statement that it had killed the commander of Hezbollah's missile unit, Muhammad Ali Ismail, and his deputy Hossein Ahmed Ismail.

DEATH TOLL RISES

Hours before the latest barrage, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu told the United Nations that his country had a right to continue the campaign.

"As long as Hezbollah chooses the path of war, Israel has no choice, and Israel has every right to remove this threat and return our citizens to their homes safely," he said.

Several delegations walked out as Netanyahu approached the lectern. He later cut short his New York trip to return to Israel.

Lebanese health authorities confirmed six dead and 91 wounded in the initial attack on Friday - the fourth on Beirut's Hezbollah-controlled southern suburbs in a week and the heaviest since a 2006 war.

The toll appeared likely to rise much higher. There was no word on casualties from the later strikes. More than 700 people were killed in strikes over the past week, authorities said.

Hezbollah's al-Manar television reported seven buildings were destroyed. Security sources in Lebanon said the target was an area where top Hezbollah officials are usually based.

Hours later, the Israeli military told residents in parts of Beirut's southern suburbs to evacuate as it targeted missile launchers and weapons storage sites it said were under civilian housing.

Hezbollah denied any weapons or arms depots were located in buildings that were hit in the Beirut suburbs, the Lebanese armed group's media office said in a statement.

Alaa al-Din Saeed, a resident of a neighbourhood Israel identified as a target, told Reuters he was fleeing with his wife and three children.

"We found out on the television. There was a huge commotion in the neighbourhood," he said. The family grabbed clothes, identification papers and some cash but were stuck in traffic with others trying to flee.

"We're going to the mountains. We'll see how to spend the night - and tomorrow we'll see what we can do."

Around 100,000 people in Lebanon have been displaced this week, increasing the number uprooted in the country to well over 200,000.

Israel's government has said that returning some 70,000 Israeli evacuees to their homes is a war aim.

FEAR THE FIGHTING WILL SPREAD

Hezbollah has fired hundreds of rockets and missiles against targets in Israel, including Tel Aviv. The group said it fired rockets on Friday at the northern Israeli city of Safed, where a woman was treated for minor injuries.

Israel's air defence systems have ensured the damage has so far been minimal.

Iran, which said Friday's attack crossed "red lines", accused Israel of using U.S.-made "bunker-busting" bombs.

U.S. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin said Washington was not informed of that strike beforehand. President Joe Biden was being kept abreast of developments.

At the U.N., where the annual General Assembly met this week, the intensification prompted expressions of concern including by France, which with the U.S. has proposed a 21-day ceasefire.

"This must be brought to an end immediately," French Ambassador Nicolas de Riviere told a Security Council meeting.

At a New York press conference, U.S. Secretary of State Antony Blinken said: "We believe the way forward is through diplomacy, not conflict... We will continue to work intentionally with all parties to urge them to choose that course."

Hezbollah opened the latest bout in a decades-long conflict with a missile barrage against Israel immediately following the Oct. 7 attack on Israel by the Palestinian militant group Hamas in Gaza last year.

Reuters

WESTERN PERSPECTIVE

Ukraine's Zelenskiy presents 'victory plan' to Trump at New York meeting

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy presented his war "victory plan" to Donald Trump during a closed-door meeting on Friday, after the Republican presidential candidate said he would work with both Ukraine and Russia to end their conflict.

The meeting between the two men at Trump Tower in Manhattan was their first in-person encounter since 2019. Zelenskiy said he was talking with both Trump and his Democratic rival in the Nov. 5 election, Vice President Kamala Harris, because Ukraine needed strong U.S. support in its continuing war with Russia.

Trump praised Zelenskiy, but said he also had a solid relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin.

"We have a very good relationship (with Zelenskiy), and I also have a very good relationship, as you know, with President Putin," Trump told reporters. "And I think if we win, I think we're going to get it resolved very quickly," he added.

Zelenskiy has used his U.S. visit to promote his "victory plan," which a U.S. official described as a repackaged request for more weapons and a lifting of restrictions on the use of long-range missiles. The plan presupposes the ultimate defeat of Russia in the war, the official said. Some officials see the aim as unrealistic.

When asked on Thursday by a reporter if Ukraine should hand over some of the Ukrainian land Russia has captured to end the war - a non-starter for Kyiv - Trump replied: "We'll see what happens."

At one point during a pre-meeting press conference on Friday, when Zelenskiy suggested he had a better relationship with Trump than Putin did, Trump responded: "Yeah, but you know it takes two to tango."

Still, Trump said on Friday he was pleased to meet with Zelenskiy, a marked change in tone from some of his previous comments on the campaign trail. After the meeting, Zelenskiy called his talks with Trump "very productive."

On Monday, Trump said Zelenskiy wanted Harris to win the election. He has also called Zelenskiy "the greatest salesman of all time" because his country has received billions of dollars in military aid from the United States and Europe.

"It's an honor to have the president with us, and he's been through a lot," Trump said on Friday. "He's been through a tremendous amount, like probably nobody else, almost nobody else in history, if you really get right down to it, and we're going to have a discussion and see what we could come up with."

TRUMP, HARRIS DIFFER ON UKRAINE

Trump on Friday said that if he won the Nov. 5 election he would immediately begin working toward a resolution of the Ukraine conflict, even though he would formally take office only in late January 2025.

Zelenskiy, who was in the United States for the U.N. General Assembly, met on Thursday with Democratic President JoeBiden and Harris.

Over the weekend, Zelenskiy traveled to a munitions factory in Pennsylvania with that state's Democratic governor, Josh Shapiro, a Harris ally. The visit upset Trump's campaign and enraged some congressional Republicans who viewed the trip as a campaign stop, particularly as Pennsylvania is an important battleground state expected to decide the U.S. election.

As late as Thursday, people close to Trump and his campaign had said a meeting appeared extremely unlikely, though the former president apparently changed his mind during Zelenskiy's stay in the country.

Trump and Harris' differences on Ukraine echo splits in their respective Democratic and Republican parties, and their view of the U.S. role in the world.

Along with Trump, some Republicans in Congress have questioned the value of U.S. funding and additional weapons for Ukraine's two-year battle against Russia's invasion, calling it futile, while Democrats led by Biden have pushed to punish Russia and bolster Ukraine, framing Ukraine's victory as a vital national security interest.

The war in Ukraine and foreign policy in general lag behind domestic issues like the economy, healthcare and immigration in terms of what most voters think are important.

But a strong majority, 64%, of registered voters say they support Ukraine's use of U.S.-supplied arms to strike within Russia, according to an August Reuters/Ipsos poll, including 78% of Democrats and 56% of Republicans.

RUSSIAN PERSPECTIVE

Ukrainian army plagued by desertion and draft-dodging – The Economist

Ukrainian leader Vladimir Zelensky's so-called ‘victory plan’ is being undermined by the reality that his nation does not have enough manpower or resources to prevail over Russia, The Economist reported on Thursday.

Zelensky is currently visiting the US to promote his proposal, which reportedly boils down to the West increasing its backing in terms of cash and weapons so Kiev can continue fighting.

The British magazine described the dire situation affecting the Ukrainian economy and dwindling military manpower. Unlike Moscow, which is fielding volunteers, Kiev relies on forced conscription, it noted.

”Officers complain that many of those drafted into service are ill-suited to fighting: too old, too ill, too drunk. There is no clear path out of the army once in it, which makes being mobilized seem like a one-way ticket to the morgue,” The Economist said.

”Some 5-10% of soldiers on active duty are absent without leave,” it added, noting that “fewer than 30% of Ukrainians consider draft-dodging shameful.”

There is a generational gap, with younger men eligible for military service being far less inclined to support Zelensky’s uncompromising stance, compared to those too old to be recruited, the report added.

In a separate editorial article on Thursday, the magazine accused Zelensky of “defying reality” with his military strategy, warning that he would “drive away Ukraine’s backers and further divide Ukrainian society” if he keeps pursuing it.

Ukraine needs to redefine victory over Russia as “becoming a prosperous, Western-leaning democracy,” after making concessions for the sake of peace. In return for “embracing this grim truth, Western leaders need to make his overriding war aim credible by ensuring that Ukraine has the military capacity and security guarantees it needs,” it suggested.

Moscow has stated that NATO’s intention to draw Ukraine into its ranks was one of the key triggers for the hostilities. Its vision for a stable peace includes a cap on Ukraine’s military strength and its non-alignment. Kiev agreed to those terms during peace talks in the early phase of the conflict, but then reportedly made a U-turn at the West’s suggestion.

Reuters/RT

Zoe Williams

The Traitors has shown just how adept some people are at lying. Here, an ex-FBI agent, a psychologist and a fraud investigator share their best tips for detecting dishonesty

Twenty-two people in a castle, Claudia Winkleman hamming it up like crazy, a number of silly challenges, a chunk of money sitting at the centre, almost glowing, and human nature laid bare. To try to pick apart exactly what makes The Traitors so compelling would be to miss the point, like trying to analyse the ingredients in a Krispy Kreme doughnut.

As enjoyable as it is, though, the show gets more infuriating with each episode. I don’t want to point fingers, still less give spoilers, so let’s keep this broad: why are they (the Faithful) all so stupid? Why can’t they tell when they are being lied to? It’s so obvious!

I asked three experts how to spot a lie – and why most people can’t. First, Dr Linda Papadopoulos, a psychologist, author and broadcaster, whom people of a certain vintage may remember as the standout discovery of the first season of Big Brother. Reality TV was in its infancy, so watching ordinary people interact under a microscope was fascinating in itself, but Papadopoulos, the show’s resident psychologist, added an almost superhuman level of insight into the contestants’ feelings; she was like a mind-reader.

Second, Joe Navarro is the author of What Every Body Is Saying, insights into non-verbal cues and tells gleaned from his career as an FBI agent. Gabrielle Stewart, the third, is a retired insurance investigator who works as a fraud consultant for the industry.

This trio don’t always agree but, seriously, you wouldn’t want to lie to any of them. Here are their 10 tips for spotting a liar.

Watch for self-soothing gestures

“The problem with the myth of detecting deception is that since the groundbreaking work of Paul Ekman [a psychologist whose visual test, Pictures of Facial Affect, was published in 1976] and all the researchers that came after him, we know that humans are no better than chance at detecting deception,” says Navarro.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t read anything into people’s expressions and behaviours. “What the human body does – and it does it exquisitely – is display psychological discomfort in real time,” he says. “King Charles – he’s always playing with his cufflinks. This is how he deals with social anxiety. Prince Harry – he’s always buttoning the button that’s already buttoned – another comforting behaviour.”

Facial touching is known as a pacifier – a way to soothe yourself under stress. “Right now, you are covering your suprasternal notch,” says Navarro as our video call starts. Protecting my neck, in other words, “which is because there’s a man right in front of you”. That makes me chortle, because I love men. But he is right in the sense that I have always keenly felt the jeopardy of the first few seconds of an interview – if you make a mess of that, the whole thing is ruined. So, there is the first principle: everything someone does with their hands and their face says something. Now, you have to figure out what.

Probe areas where you detect psychological discomfort

Navarro recalls a search for a fugitive during his FBI days. Interviewing the man’s mother, he asked if she had seen her son. She said no and was plainly nervous, but there was no way to connect the anxiety to the answer; she could have been telling the truth and simply been unsettled by the appearance of two FBI agents on her doorstep.

He changed tack and asked if it was possible that her son was sneaking in to the house while she was at work. “She said: ‘No, that’s not possible at all,’” displaying a nervous tell – covering her neck, in this instance. “But there was no reason for that, right? All she had to say was: ‘I don’t know.’” So the non-verbal show of nerves combined with the illogical answer hinted at deception. Sure enough, the man was in the house.

Don’t take obvious gestures at face value

Some striking non-verbal tells are rooted in archaic human self‑preservation. We cover our mouths when we see something shocking or horrible, because “it prevents the casting of our scent, which predators can pick up on,” Navarro says.

The problem is that the more obvious the gesture, the easier it is to plan for and mimic. So, every time they vote out an innocent player on The Traitors, all the Faithful cover their mouths in horror, but so do the Traitors. Big, set-piece events, where everyone is making the same face or gesture, probably won’t tell you very much.

Look for mismatch

Papadopoulos picks up on the space between the non-verbal and the verbal – the incongruity between words and gestures: “You’re nodding, but saying no.” Stewart listens for acoustic variance in speech, where pitch and tone change. Lying people will pad a story with elements of truth, which is probably smart, except that, when they come to the falsehoods, “they speed up and speak at a higher pitch”, says Stewart. “The voice is saying: ‘I’m in cognitive overload.’”

Learn to receive, not transmit

“The ability to actively listen, which is what psychologists do, is surprisingly rare. A lot of people are thinking of what they’re going to say next, rather than listening,” Papadopoulos says. We also forget how much of ourselves we bring to the interaction; if we are stressed or anxious, it’s harder to detect or decode stress in others.

Papadopoulos describes falling for a scam when she was in the middle of a family crisis: “I write about these things – I know my stuff – but, in that moment, I was duped. If I was on my game, that would have been much less likely. That’s the whole basis of psychology: we think through our emotions and that moderates the quality of our thinking.”

Don’t ignore the impact your tone is having on the conversation (memo to The Traitors’ Diane): “If you come across as accusatory, that affects how people react,” Navarro says. “I never did that, as it puts people on the defence and it begins to mask behaviours that I need to observe.” Don’t jump to conclusions, either. Classic ways to spot a liar – such as vagueness, or buying time, Papadopoulos says – might mean something completely different. “It might just mean they weren’t really listening,” she says. If you decide too quickly that you have uncovered deception, it gates off other possible explanations.

Get them to tell their side of the story

Stewart, who did her insurance investigation work by phone, says: “The structure of the account is key. You wouldn’t necessarily do this in person when you’re speaking to somebody, but any story will have a beginning, a middle and an end. It’s normally 30% buildup, 40% content, 30% afterthoughts and reflections. An untruthful account won’t stick to that structure, because they don’t really want to tell you that 40%. The most common structure of a lie will be 80% buildup, then they’ll tell you what happened really, really quickly, then they’ll want to get it over with.

“I would record an event using timelines and bullet points on landscape paper, then draw a line where I believe I’ve gone from beginning to middle to end. Almost every fraudulent account will have a very long beginning, bugger-all middle and bugger-all end.”

Memory-blamers are a flag: when something significant happens, it’s very unusual to forget it. Even if it has been misremembered or misperceived, there won’t be a big hole in the memory where that detail should be.

Listen for tenses and dissociation

“We use completely different language when we’re telling lies,” says Stewart. “A really famous example is President Nixon. He was asked straight out: ‘Did you know about Watergate?’ and his answer was: ‘The president would do no such thing.’

“First, he’s got disociation, which is very common. In an untruthful account, there’s a lack of ‘I’ and ‘my’, because we want to push the lie away from ourselves. Then, he’s slipped tenses.” A truthful person whose car has been stolen, for example, will say: “I left it here, came back an hour later and it was gone.” An untruthful account might slip into the present continuous: “I’m walking down the path and I’m looking for my car, thinking …”

Be alive to odd noises or random words

Stewart talks about “emotional leakage”. A liar might randomly start laughing, but it won’t sound like mirth. Time-filling sounds are common. “It’s an additional cognitive load, saying untruthful things,” she says. “It’s like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time. So, they’ll be on high alert and they can’t bear silence. You’ll hear coughing, or strings of words that don’t need to be said.” Allied to this is non-committal language, or “linguistic hedging” – words such as “probably” and “possibly”. “They’re like disclaimers: ‘I don’t want to commit myself with this language.’”

Ask character questions

In the 80s, my dad, who was a prison psychologist, devised some recruitment tests for the police that were designed to establish whether candidates were honest. One of the progressions was: “Are you married? Have you ever had an affair? Have you ever thought about having an affair?” If you answered yes to the first, it didn’t matter what you said to the second, as long as you didn’t answer no to the third, because everyone’s thought about it. To apply this to The Traitors, a player could ask of another: “Do you find Zack annoying?” If they say no, it doesn’t prove that they are a Traitor, but they are certainly the kind of person who lies.

Ask yourself: are you looking through the right end of the telescope?

Every one of these clues – verbal, non-verbal and in between – relies on something: the liar’s discomfort. Not everyone will feel discomfited by mendacity; some people will enjoy it. “We know that 1% of any given population – here in America it may be way more – are psychopaths,” says Navarro. “These people can lie all day long. There are structures in their prefrontal cortex that just don’t function.” Added to that, “4% of the population is antisocial; these are people who live by criminal activity”, he says. Even if they weren’t born to deceive, they will be habituated to it.

Many people have to lie for their jobs. Navarro mentions spies and doctors, but makes the broader point that we all use lying “as a tool of social survival”. Inevitably, some of us will end up quite good at it. But what are we trying to survive? We want to remain members of the group and we fear expulsion. In a culture where lying is prized – politics, The Traitors – the act of lying might make you come across as more confident, rather than less.

So, if you cross-referenced the verbal and non-verbal cues, then reverse-engineered the tests to become reasonably good at identifying an honest nervous person, you could figure out who was lying by a process of elimination; even if they were psychopathically good at it, that wouldn’t matter.

In The Traitors – and in life – what will undo you is letting yourself become certain on the basis of too little information or ambiguous evidence. “I looked at 261 DNA exonerations in the US,” Navarro says. “All the police officers thought that they could detect deception, but not one of them could detect the truth. In fact, none of the men were guilty.”

The Guardian, UK

Megan Sauer

The next time you catch yourself nodding along to something you disagree with, stop and calmly enter the argument instead.

That’s advice from Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. Learning how to effectively disagree — without simply saying “no” — can strengthen your relationships and make you more persuasive, Grant recently told the “What Now? with Trevor Noah” podcast.

“So often, people are told, ‘Just compromise. Pick your battles in relationships,’ that they end up treating them as fragile,” said Grant, in an episode that published on August 15. Then, “we never build the calluses for the bigger [conversations].”

That doesn’t mean you should name call or strong-arm your way into getting other people to seeing your point of view. Effective disagreements don’t need to cause lasting conflict: Calmly assert your point of view, genuinely listen to the other side and engage in a give-and-take conversation, Grant wrote in his 2021 book “Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know.”

“Although productive disagreement is a critical life skill, it’s one that many of us never fully develop,” Grant wrote. “Being able to have a good fight doesn’t just make us more civil, it also develops our creative muscles.”

Learning how to disagree can improve or create new ideas and set you apart as an original thinker, he added. Plus, effective leaders are often authentic and good at having difficult conversations constructively, research shows — helping you maintain a reputation as an agreeable person who’s liked by co-workers and job recruiters, without becoming a pushover.

Here are Grant’s top three ways to get better at disagreeing:

Keep conflicts task-oriented

Disagreements fall into two categories, Grant said: task and relationship conflicts. A task conflict focuses on a specific issue: What’s the quickest way to increase our company’s revenue? In HBO’s “The Sopranos,” was Tony Soprano good, evil or morally ambiguous?

A relationship problem often assigns an identity to a person: If you think Tony is bad, you’re ignorant. If you don’t like my solution to increase sales, you’re hard-headed. Those assumptions can keep us from moving forward and affect productivity, Grant wrote.

If you can defend your argument — while being open to other perspectives, and focusing on the task-specific problem instead of the other person — you might be able to brainstorm additional solutions together, Grant said.

“When a clash gets personal and emotional, we become self-righteous preachers of our own views,” Grant wrote. “Task conflict can be constructive when it brings diversity of thought.”

Frame disagreements as debates instead of arguments

If a conflict feels like it’s starting to get personal, ask the other person if they want to debate.

Saying you’re going to debate, rather than disagree, signals to the other person you’re willing to hear their ideas, Grant wrote: ”[It] sends a message that you want to think like a scientist, not a preacher or a prosecutor — and encourages the other person to think that way, too.”

You don’t have to change someone’s mind, or vice versa, for a conversation to be effective. Hearing someone out is more productive than cutting the conversation off at the first sign of disagreement, Grant wrote.

Debates can also help you find common ground with the other person, without necessarily compromising your viewpoints, he added.

“A good debate is not a war [or] even a tug-of-war ... it’s more like a dance,” he wrote. “If you try too hard to lead, your partner will resist. If you can adapt your moves to hers, and get her to do the same, you’re more likely to end up in rhythm.”

Be someone you’d like to debate with

If you’re confident the other person has something to gain from your argument, treat them as an equal. Skilled negotiators — the ones who are most effective at changing other people’s minds — are better at finding common ground and ask more questions than average negotiators, Grant wrote.

Good arguments often have just a few, strong points rather than a long list of relevant points, studies show. It’s called the dilution effect: weaker claims water down well-constructed arguments.

Disagreements don’t always lead to concessions or compromises. Often, you simply learn more about the other person, or the problem, and move forward, wrote Grant.

“Convincing other people to think again isn’t just about making a good argument — it’s about establishing that we have the right motives to do so,” he wrote.

CNBC

No fewer than 30 million Almajiri and 20 million out-of-school children are roaming about and in need of attention, a government official has said.

Muhammad Idris, the Executive Secretary of the National Commission for Almajiri and Out-of-School Children’s Education (NCAOOSCE) disclosed this on Thursday in Abuja.

Speaking at the inauguration of an eight-man committee to reform the Almajiri education, Idris said the children needed a sense of belonging and direction in their lives.

“With the emergence of social vices, a lot of people are taking advantage of the vulnerability of Almajiri children.

“It is no longer acceptable that people will give birth to children and throw them into the streets for begging. This is about Nigeria and not a segment of the society.

“Almajiri now has various leadership bodies with over 2,000 associations, and it became difficult for the government to harness them.

“So, the government felt there was a need to look at this with the view to give them modern pedagogy.

“We must put all hands on deck to address this part of education that has been neglected for some time,” he said.

Idris, therefore, tasked the committee to bring the various Almajiri groups under one umbrella in such a way that responsible scholars would emerge among them.

He also tasked the committee to unify all “Tsangaya” (Almajiri Schools) associations in the country under one umbrella, thereby streamlining interactions and fostering effective collaboration with the NCAOOSCE.

Idris assured that, once the measures were put in place, 60 per cent of the Almajiri children would be integrated into the Tsangaya education system before the end of the administration.

He gave the committee three weeks to carry out its assignment.

Idris also disclosed that the commission was in talks with state governments to take over the integrated Almajiri schools built by the Universal Basic Education Commission (UBEC), under former President Goodluck Jonathan.

Responding, the Chairman of the committee, Sheik Sayyadi Alqasim, pledged the commitment of the members to deliver on their task.

Alqasim thanked the government for finding them worthy of the job and pledged timely and efficient delivery of the task.

NAN

The Manufacturers Association of Nigeria (MAN) has decried the latest hike in the Monetary Policy Rate (MPR) to 27.25 per cent from 26.75 per cent.

The association stated that the increase would compound the challenges faced by the sector, which included rising production costs in the face of declining consumer purchasing power.

Director General of MAN, Segun Ajayi-Kadir, said yesterday in public statement titled “Reaction of MAN on the Report of MPC Meeting on September 23-24, 2024” that MAN is worried about the implications of the continuous rate hikes on the productive sector and earnestly expects the CBN to stop the rate hike and explore more of the monetary-fiscal policy handshake option to curb inflation.  

Ajayi-Kadir said: “With the increase in borrowing costs, manufacturers will now pay over 35 per cent on their credit facilities.

‘Clearly, this will lead to increase in production costs, higher prices of finished goods, lower competitiveness and production capacity expansion.”

He noted that “the impact of higher interest rates goes beyond compounding the challenges of manufacturers; it stifles opportunities for investment in crucial areas such as technology, retooling, and expansion within the manufacturing sector.

“Manufacturers will, all the more, be compelled to choose servicing existing credit facilities over expansion and investment in new product lines.

“For instance, over the first six months of the year, manufacturers incurred more than N730 billion in capital expenses due to the continuous rise in interest rates imposed by commercial banks.

“This dilemma hampers innovation, productivity and growth.”

He added that the sector is grappling with depressed consumer demand, primarily driven by lower purchasing power. This decline has severely hampered capacity utilisation within the sector.

According to him, data from the first half of the economic review published by the MAN revealed a troubling trend: the value of unsold finished goods inventory surged by 42.93 percentage points, reaching N1.24 trillion compared to N869.37 billion at the close of 2023.

“This growing stockpile of unsold products underscores the difficulties manufacturers face in a weakening market. The broader implications of these challenges threaten not only the manufacturing sector but also the Nigerian economy as a whole.

“As higher borrowing costs lead to poor access to funds, lower capacities and potential business closures. Truth be told, the capacity to absorb the country’s growing youth population into meaningful employment has diminished significantly with the attendant adverse socioeconomic and security implications.”

MAN also expressed surprised that the CBN is increasing the MPR against the backdrop of the meagre improvement in inflation figures, which could be largely traceable to the onset of the harvest season.

“We also note that this increase is coming at a time that central banks in other climes are either retaining or cutting rates.

“It is, therefore, expedient that government adopt a holistic and balanced approach to policy formulation and decisions, with due consideration of their overall impact on the various sectors of the economy, particularly the productive sector.

“Undoubtedly, price stability is crucial, and so is the survival and growth of the manufacturing sector. This should be top priority at this time and is in line with the government avowed commitment to growing domestic production, creating more jobs and alleviating poverty,” Ajayi-Kadir argued.

Thisday