Every year around this time, as stores fill up with red and pink gifts, I wonder what truly makes a relationship last, and how I can set myself up to be the best partner in a relationship. Mistakes are normal when you’re dating someone, but some can be more damaging to your relationship than others.

Couples therapist Rachel Glik has more than 30 years of experience, and she’s “seen partners repeat many of the same mistakes, often unknowingly,” she says.

Here are six common ones she suggests avoiding:

1 Winging it. Actively work on the skills that can make you a great partner, like being a good listener and dealing with conflict effectively.

2 Expecting your partner to be responsible for your happiness and well-being. Forming a positive relationship with yourself is an important step toward having a fulfilling connection with someone else.

3 Seeing conflict as a red flag. Periods of disconnection and reconnection are normal in long-lasting relationships.

4 Attempting to change your partner. Show them empathy when they do things that bother you, and avoid focusing too much on those things by appreciating more of what your partner does right.

5 Losing sight of what’s important. Plan date nights to strengthen your bond, and set aside time for honest conversations about your relationship.

6 Thinking too small. Sometimes zooming out beyond just your relationship can benefit you and your partner. Giving back to your community as a unit, and individually, can bring you closer together.

If you make any of these mistakes, don’t get discouraged, Glik says: “Simple changes, at any time, can go a long way to turn things around.”

CNBC