Few things can summarise the Muhammadu Buhari era as succinctly as his return to a London hospital bed a few days ago.

In May 2015, as he prepared to take office, he had travelled to the same city, a visit Nigerians had imagined to be for consultations with officials of the British government. It turned out he was trying to take care of his health.

Following his oath of office, he would go on to spend a total of 217 days in London taking care of an ailment he never disclosed to the Nigerian people who pay the bills. By the time he returns to Abuja one week from now, if he does return as announced on May 5, he would have spent 227 days in London—and a total of 414 outside the country—in one term of four years.  It is a measure of our helplessness as a people.

Buhari’s return to an English bed neither on vacation nor on a state visit but on a “private visit” everybody on earth knows to be a sick visit, is the final act of betrayal of his own government and people.  If affirms loudly that nothing is changing in Nigeria.

Worse still, it is the final confession that he has neither the intention nor the ability to change anything.  Apparently, Nigerians who clamour for any better from their government or President can go to hell.

London has historically been the first thought and stop of Nigerians who have something to hide as well as those pursuing business or education. As a result, some of our finest have a strong presence, as do the thieves, the looters and money-launderers. We hold a lot of real estate. You send your children to school there “if you can afford it,” to borrow the words of Buhari himself.

Along with Germany and France—and now the UAE and India—the UK is where Nigerian leaders and their spouses expose their ailments to doctors whose governments do not tell them they are free to leave for other countries as they are surplus to requirements, as the Buhari government did on the eve of his departure last week.

Making the declaration, Chris Ngige, the Minister of Labour and Employment, said our “excess” doctors who should have no hesitation taking their skills and presence somewhere else.

“We have more than enough,” said Ngige, who was rigged into the Anambra governorship in 2003 by his political godfather, Chris Uba. “You can quote me. There is nothing wrong in them travelling out. When they go abroad, they earn money and send them back home here. Yes, we have foreign exchange earnings from them and not just oil.”

Ngige was reflecting the tragic quality of arrogance in the Buhari government these days. Nigerians who are not in the circles of power and privilege can jump off a cliff…or go abroad so they can remit funds ($22bn in 2017 and $25bn in 2018, according to official statistics), which helps to stabilise the nation, and enable its incompetent government to remain in power.

As he prepared for his trip, Buhari this month ordered the Federal Ministry of Finance to sell all recovered and liability-free assets in no more than six months. These are assets seized since 2015 as part of his so-called war against corruption.

Why doesn’t the government begin by publishing a full list of the assets and the identity of their owners? Unless, of course, the plan is that the assets be quickly and quietly and cheaply recovered by their original owners, or the privileged members of the government and ruling party.

It bears restating that one of Buhari’s earliest pronouncements was the proscription of medical tourism, a decree that has become one of the punchlines for the foreign communities who laugh at Nigeria.

Yes, Buhari is visiting a country where the medical service works. His hospital does come alive only when Theresa May is passing by, as did Adam Oshiomhole’s Central Hospital in Benin City for Buhari in 2016 or Akinwunmi Ambode’s Ayinke General Hospital last week. It is there each time Buhari wants to come and offload as much Nigerian money as they choose.

For some reason, Buhari has become synonymous with state projects that do not work, such as the Ikeja Bus Terminal and the Kaduna Dry Port he commissioned in 2018; or projects that are only halfway completed, such as the Oshodi International Airport Road reconstruction and the Oshodi Transport Interchange.

But now we also know that First Lady Aisha Buhari is planning a shrine to her husband: a private university to be named Muhammadu Buhari University.

She did not disclose details, except that the project would be in collaboration with “partners from Sudan and Qatar.”  It reminds me of the Nigerian-owned Maryam Abacha American University of Niger, in Meradi, Republic of Niger.

But the Muhammadu Buhari University would consolidate her husband’s growing image of undisclosed wealth, even if Aisha herself—like Patience Jonathan before her—has been saving considerable sums under her pillow for years.

Curiously, since 2015 Buhari has failed to publicly declare his assets as he had bragged that he would.  Farooq Kperogi, the widely-known journalism professor, pointed out two months ago that Buhari’s assets declaration document has now disappeared from thecustody of the Code of Conduct Bureau.  The presidency expressed no surprise.

Also never denied is the lake front N2.1 billion mansion in Asokoro that an Abuja city newspaper said in 2015 belongs to the Nigerian leader.

Nonetheless, the private university will be an ego-boosting addition to the $50m public “Transportation University” that Transportation Minister Rotimi Amaechi disclosed last September he would build for Buhari in his Daura hometown in 2019.

Rebutting criticism of the plan later, Amaechi disclosed that the president had been unaware of his plan.“The President did not even know I (would) choose Daura,” he told journalists, appearing to confirm that in Buhari’s cabinet people simply do as they please. “The reason: Daura is part of Nigeria…”

But months later, that infernal audiotape leaked of Amaechi criticising Buhari and saying he planned to establish another university in his own village in Rivers State after keeping Buhari happy with his in Daura.

Out of budgetary nowhere: two transportation universities. Not departments or faculties. New universities in a nation where existing institutions lack maintenance or support, and doctors and other professionals are told to go to hell. Where luggage carousels and elevators do not work at airports and bathroom cleaners hand out pieces of tissues to toilet users.

Two sudden transportation universities in a nation where officials military chiefs fight insecurity with adverbs and adjectives and confront socio-economic problems with arrogance and false statistics on television. Where the Commander-in-Chief would rather die in a foreign hospital than build one in his country.

What do we get next? Perhaps Electricity Universities or Plumbing Polytechnics?

How about ONE hospital? Or at least one commissioned project in prime working order, three years later?

I would consider that to be #CHANGE.