As the Sallah festival approached, the house has suddenly become a beehive of activities with many going and coming. Misfits and muggers abound. Snooper was curious as to the reason for this sudden upsurge of human traffic.
It turned out that the indefatigable Okon had established a thriving ram market very close to the house. Having made some money recently from sourcing and transporting human containers to the various EFCC political road shows, snooper had thought that the mad boy wanted to show gratitude to god by giving off Sallah rams to the deserving.
But always with an eye on the main chance, Okon had come to the conclusion that with hardship biting harder in the country most people who cannot afford a ram might prefer to rent one for bragging purposes. So Okon rents the rams only to rent them out again. After he might have struck by midnight before Sallah day it might then be given out that the poor ram had died or had been stolen.
“Oga, dat way, man happy, goat happy and dem Lagos mumu happy too”, Okon exulted in this new found economics of disaffection.
“Na dis one dem dey call Okonomics. This boy get brain pass all dem Okonjo and dem Owonjo Ewunla people”, Baba Lekki elaborated with perfunctory malice.
In a more advanced and sophisticated version of the same scam, Okon actually collected money from people on the pretext that he was going to sell rams to them only to come back to inform them that the poor animal had died in transit owing to heat, exhaustion and toxic weed from flooding.
“Na dem Majidun weed come poison dem ram and dem come dey shit like Baba Suwe”, Okon calmly explained to a distraught Alhaja from Okokomaiko.
“Madam, na dat one dem dey call ewekoro”, Baba Lekki sniggered.
But nemesis caught up with the crazy boy in the guise of an irate mallam from Agege. After listening to the cock and bull story with stoic dismay, the poor man made a gesture of fatalism to the skies and brought out a long knife.
“Barawo…bani naira!!”, he screamed as he lunged at Okon. Okon ducked and took to his heels with the mallam in hot pursuit. Snooper quickly locked the gates of the house against Baba Lekki.
First published in 2011.
The Nation