Before a recent flight across the country, I bought a shawarma wrap at the airport to take into the cabin.
At the time, it seemed like a brilliant idea: I knew I’d get hungry, and this Lebanese place looked good for an airport fast-casual spot. A chicken wrap would be much more satiating than whatever dry snacks would be offered for purchase.
The minute I pulled the shawarma out on the plane, I realised my huge mistake. I hadn’t accounted for my wrap’s fiercely potent aroma. It hadn’t smelled particularly fragrant on the ground, but now, things were different.
Shame radiated off me along with the pure essence of garlic wafting into the cabin’s recycled air. I was the monster who brought this onto the plane, and now everyone had to inhale my meal.
A lesson was learned that day. One must choose one’s plane food wisely.
It’s not only food you need to take into consideration. There are also issues with drinking, cutlery, trash. To get everyone on the same page about the dos and don’ts of eating and drinking on a plane, we’re putting the rules in writing.
We consulted Shanie Peralta, an Association of Flight Attendants-CWA member and flight attendant for a regional carrier that travels between the United States, the Caribbean and chartered routes.
Some of this stuff is common sense, “but common sense is not always common,” Ms Peralta said.
According to Ms Peralta, the majority of passengers aren’t travelling with their own snacks.
“It is a small minority of people who bring food on-board, but you do get offenders who like to bring egg salad or tuna sandwiches,” Ms Peralta said. “In their mind, they don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. They’re just like, ‘Hey, I want to eat my tuna sandwich. I’m hungry.’”
Don’t be that offender. And please, we’re begging you, don’t lick your fingers.
Enjoy: A clean eating surface by bringing wipes
Ms Peralta strongly recommended that passengers bring disinfecting wipes in their carry-on for tray tables. Give that thing a good wipe-down, because it doesn’t get cleaned every day.
“There are a lot of things that happen on these tray tables,” Ms Peralta said. “People change nappies on these tray tables. That happens a lot, more than people think.”
Other potential contaminants include previous passengers’ food remnants, or their drool, or their sneezes. Grab some Lysol sheets before setting up an in-flight picnic.
Avoid: Bringing pungent items
This should really be rule number one, but the tray-table thing was so unnerving, we had to start there.
Anyway, the First Commandment of plane eating is: Thou shalt not bring strong-smelling food on a plane. Flying is already stressful and uncomfortable. There’s no policy about bringing on aromatic food; however, that doesn’t mean on your flight, you should crack into fermented shark.
“You can bring whatever snacks you want, but be mindful that other people don’t want to smell what you’re eating,” Ms Peralta said.
You’re not just offending the people in your own row.
“It smells up the cabin immediately, and you can smell it from the back, from the front, wherever you are in the aircraft,” Ms Peralta added.
Avoid: Eating “loud” foods
Before you start chomping into that perfectly crisp Fuji apple, consider the travellers with misophobia, a disorder that triggers physical and emotional responses to sounds like chewing, tapping and gum-snapping.
But beyond them, the sound of gnawing on that fruit or carrots can be just plain obnoxious to everyone. Consider the auditory stimuli of eating your in-flight food, and avoid items that are noisier than most.
Avoid: Digging into messy foods and opening fizzy drinks
Eat clean, and we don’t mean a plant-based, minimally processed diet.
We mean: Don’t go crazy with foods or drinks that run the risk of getting all over while you’re squeezed in next to strangers in a small space. That means Nature Valley granola bars, big bowls of soup, chips and salsa. Beware of exploding carbonated beverages like kombucha or sparkling water.
Your crumbs and spills aren’t only affecting the people near you. Flight attendants become de facto janitors. You’re making their job, and that of the cleaning crew who comes on later, harder.
Travelling with a toddler? They’re the worst – in terms of messes.
“Toddlers are the biggest offenders,” Ms Peralta said. “They fuss and throw, and you find all sorts of interesting things under the seat. You have crushed chocolate chip cookies on the ground, and chocolate smeared on the seat. It’s a mess.”
Be mindful of your kid’s ways when packing snacks for the ride.
Enjoy: A minimalist approach to dining
Flying in economy requires some spatial awareness. Your seat is small. Your tray table is small. Your legroom is small. Clutter catches up with you fast. You’re going to be eating your meal while trying not to elbow your neighbours, like you’re playing the board game Operation.
Don’t bring a bunch of condiments, an array of cutlery, or a cornucopia of containers and expect the eating experience to go smoothly. If you must use those artisanal cocktail kits, keep them close to you and make sure you’re not accidentally zesting your neighbours with garnish.
Avoid: Bringing common allergens on a flight
People can get sick from coming into contact with ingredients like peanuts and shellfish. Do vulnerable passengers a solid, and leave those foods for another occasion.
Avoid: Drinking alcohol you brought
According to Transportation Security Administration regulations, you can bring a small bag of miniature alcohol bottles. But there’s a catch. Although you can bring on less than 100 millilitres of alcohol, it’s not OK to drink it in-flight.
In other words: “If we didn’t serve it to you, you can’t have it,” Ms Peralta said.
Even though you’re trying to save money by BYOB, it’s against the law to crack open your own cold one.
Enjoy: A few cocktails, but don’t get drunk
Get drunk before you cross the jet bridge, and you could be denied boarding. Get drunk on the flight and cause problems, and you could end up getting the plane grounded, facing legal ramifications and paying fines in the tens of thousands of dollars.
“If it’s affecting the security and the safety of other passengers, or they’re causing harm to themselves, then yes, we intervene and call the captain, and we have procedures for that,” Ms Peralta said.
Know your limit.
Avoid: Leaving garbage in the seat pocket or on the floor
You’ll have to dispose of your food waste somewhere. Don’t be one of the many, many people who tucks their garbage under the seat and leaves.
“We’d rather you give it to us than put it on the floor,” Ms Peralta said. “We can go through the cabin a hundred times [collecting garbage], and you still will find all these bags of Subway, McDonald’s, everything under the seat.”
Leaving litter behind slows down the cleaning process and could delay the next flight. Every banana peel you tuck into the seatback pocket is more time and work for someone else. If you’re embarrassed to hand the flight attendant your mountain of garbage, you’re bringing too much stuff.
“You can’t be getting a family meal at KFC and giving me all that garbage,” Peralta said, “because our garbage bins are not that big.”
Do right by cleaning crews and carry on small, disposable items. Throw them away with the flight attendants who come through to collect garbage.
This article originally appeared on theNew Zealand Heraldand has been republished with permission